BECAUSE

A TEAM

2011-10-15T17:28:00.004+01:00

I am not ignoring you because i hate you but because im trying to save us both from getting hurt again.

secrets of greatness

2011-08-25T15:49:00.004+01:00

Gosh uts been too long already I have been neglecting this funky cute lil blog of mine. Oke geli. Haha. Well, thing is I have been busy and pretty occupied this whole summer break and as weird as it may sound I pretty much love and enjoy this busy life of mine. This yr’s summer break is nothing like last yr’s. not even close. Just after I got back from UK which was end of june, most of the days I hung out with my tkc mates. We had this thing annually ( well not really, it only started las yr haha) it’s sort of a joint bday celebration for Paqin and deyn and usually it turns out like a batch gathering haha fun huh? Then early july I joined PK 17 for a week in Melaka. PK17 was awesome, it wasn’t as bad as I thot it was. I met a lot of amazing new friends and they are somehow related and friends to most of my friends. They are like already my secondary friends even before I met them. Well, small world isn’t it?

So then, when it was already early July, I thought I did not get the internship, I thot that my application got rejected as I applied for 2 months for july and august. If I got it I shud have already started it on the first of july. It was already 1st week of july then I was very much disappointed in myself, I felt stupid for not getting any internship, you know that feeling when you got rejected? Yeah THAT sucky feeling. Adding to the disappointment and despair, around the same time my 3rd yr results came out and they weren’t as GOOD and FLYING COLOURS as I wanted it to be. Gawddd I nearly committed suicide. Haha IM KIDDING. I was just sad but not to the extent of killing myself and not being able to enjoy my awesome life ahead. Thatd be one stupid thing to do. Well then praise to God, I got an offer from petronas, they called me when I was in Melaka (pk17). At first, they offered me a placement in bintulu, Sarawak, (I was like shes freaking kidding me right?? No she wasn’t lol) I think the place is one of the process plant or offshore platform that sort of thing laa kot haha and not surprisingly, I said NO? haha mengada weh. But seriously what would I do in Bintulu alone and not having any accommodation in Sarawak yet at that time? After all its only for 1.5 month. I didn’t think I would survive going to Sarawak esp its during the fasting month and I didn’t even have any friends there. So then being an awesome ESU officer, the lady said she could offer me a placement in KL, ill have to report to their HR on the very next Monday at KLCC tower 2. God knows I was nervous and excited when I accepted the offer. Haha big deal kan! Oh plis cut me some slack, Ive never worked before, not even a part time job, NEVER. So this is officially my first job in my entire whole life. Haha.

The first day I came to the office, ive already had this thing called affection towards going to work, I discovered that a part of me is actually pretty workaholic. Who knows huh! Haha believe it or not yes I love going to work. Then office days passed by without me realizing it its already my last week now. Gawddd talk about time flying fast. Its kinda a mixed feeling im having now, sad because I have awesome colleagues and im gonna miss em and this bit of my life, and at the same time I cannot wait for raya next week! Haha I loveeee raya celebrations! Raya food never fails me. Not once I tell you. I get to go to open houses during raya I get to eat awesome raya food, I get duit rayaaa and on top of that, there will be like a big family gathering at our hse since maktok is at ours. Tell me how can I not love raya!

Wow this post is longer than I expected. Haha I guess it’s the affectionsss and passion that brought me to write such long post. Ieww im being cheesy. I should prolly stop now before I get any cheesier and before this post gets published HAHAHA.

my wish list =)

2011-07-27T06:26:00.006+01:00

short term wish list:

1. eat at wendy's (preferably with wawa)
2. go for roller blade at subang avenue (prolly with asri)
3. go to kemaman just to eat OTAK2!
4. full terawikh this yr
5. cut clean

long term wish list:

1. perform umrah again with my family (2012)
2. New York! (April 2012)
3. Korea (August/Sept 2012) - with ris =) (graduation gift if i get first class! amin)
4. Australia and New Zealand (Nov/Dec 2012)
5. Scandinavian Countries (June 2012 - with mak, abah and along =))
6. Spain (cordoba and the southern cities of spain) Dec 2011 with paqin! =)
ahhh my long term wish list is veryyyy money consuming isnt it! oh well, no harm wishing and hoping for them to come true! =)

''this is what i want if its not what you want. but if this is what you want i dont want it''

dashing hopes

2011-06-27T10:21:00.006+01:00

hi im back. ive been busy.... watching oth? lol rewatching to be precised. it feels good and i dont have any problem rewatching it again. its like the first time watching it all alongg! so, hows life back home you ask? pretty good i must say? i started to get tanned these days and ive been switching the aircond on pretty much all the time. on top of that, i have been eating a lot i think im putting on some weight. not complaining gosh hell yeah im complaining, how do i juggle with both? depriving from getting fat but at the same time wanting to eat those delicious fellicious food! this sucks big time honestly.

on another note, i have been dealing with this thing with myself lately. results were out and they werent that GOOD. ive been getting too much of rejections recently i feel like a disappointment to myself. this isnt easy really. its like when you set one level for you to achieve your goals, you fail all of em at one time, you dont achieve any of em. its just sad you know, knowing u cudve done better, u cudve gotten the offer, is it me that sucks badly? or is it a sign that im crossing the line already? gawdd, i really dunno what to think tbh. but 1 thing for sure, i know im such a disappointment and there's nothing i can be proud of at the moment. im a bit lost with what i want in life right now or short term speaking, i dunno what im gonna do this whole 2 months of break havent really figured that out, i guess its the teenager conflict/dilemma thing im having isnt it.

talk about feeling down. haish. but i no deep down i want to believe that there's always a blessing in disguise in everytg that has happend in my life. so im good as long as i believe in that.

trying to keep being strong and i think im doing pretty well in this one. now i found 1 thing i can be proud of huh!

laterrr.

weird dream

2011-05-30T08:24:00.005+01:00

promise this will only take 10 minutes. ive still got so many things to read and cant afford to waste time atm but i cant help it to write this as i really need to let it out. its been bothering me. ok. so, i had this weird dream last night, i got married with a guy i barely know, it was an arranged marriage ( dreaming of marriage - not cos i wanna get married but i think its cos twas ayong's wedding yesterday and ive been browsing thru the pics they uploaded on fb the whole day, hence that explains the marriage dream) anyway so where was i? herm, the guy was obviously picked by my parents and again obviously he is the alim kind of guy, i cant remember how he looked in the dream dammit, shudve paid more attention to that! well at the same time, i still have feelings for my ex-bf or smtg? i din wanna get married with this alim guy, i wanted to marry that ex-bf of mine but we cudnt cos idk y, it wasnt clear in the dream. and so it was my first night with that alim guy and i went to sleep in my parents' room? LOL seriusly LOL. i wasnt ready or smtg. omg i dunno y but i find it so disturbing and scary having to have to, you know do 'that' ewwww, worse, with a guy you barely know, double euwww. oke done. so what was that all about? I HAVE NO IDEA and am very much puzzled.

on the other hand its just a dream, but one of those dreams i wud defo remember for a long time.

on top of that, this dream has got nothing to do with my real life, and that makes it even more weird!

ppf time chiowwwww.

peyton sawyer + lucas scott = true love always

2011-05-28T10:09:00.006+01:00

omg what the hell was i thinking right. i was basically watching oth since 6pm last night till 2am waaa burning the midnight oil much? well according to my timetable, i shudve started my revision on petrochem yesterday after ppm paper, considering i have THREE more papers and they are those killer papers that carry 20 credits of the whole year, *gawdd now i feel like studying*. anyway, eventhou the next one is like in a week time but heck its not like ive already finished my revisions on these modules right. UNACCEPTABLE. haish. i guess i kept telling myself i deserve a break haha but man, that was one heck of a break seriusly. lol. nevertheless, it was so much fun watching oth AGAIN, and i watched it like that was my first time watching it haha, im soo loving this tv series people. <3 <3. lets see if that turns out to be love emoticon like on fb, dun think it will welll doesnt matter act!

so, 2 weeks to the end of 3rd year. any comments on 3rd yr? wuuu NO COMMENT, 3rd yr has never been easy to me. but there were fun parts of it obviously, its the year i learn to be a bit more confident while still being myself. hermm interestangggg isnt it XD but most importantly i survived third year in one piece, im proud of myself =)

last bt not least, i cant wait to go back! XD been imagining how wud it be like when i get home haha damn im such a drama queen right? well point is, gawd i cant wait to c my parents, family and friends, AND to eat good fooooooood. its been so long since i last eat proper malaysian food. well obviously because i dont cook. tbh, im actually doing countdowns lol i cant believe, m such a girl!

pls everyone do excuse me, i have some business with petrochem ha ha ha not funny. byee XD

JITTERS.

2011-05-23T17:57:00.002+01:00

its always like this, when its 2 days before my paper, i freak out like its the end of the world. i cant think straight atm. i swear im sooo sooo soooo scared. what if i cant do the exams. gawddd, been thinking a lot about this until i stop studying since past 2 hours =((((( and that makes my freaking out level above the normal level, and this is not good, i warn you. NOT GOOD. waaaaaa. hermm. i always had this thought that its okay i can do it, ive been nailing exams and stuffs. y not now. but it doesnt work on me anymore. im not a kid anymore, i cant lie to myself that im gonna be okay when i no i wont. ahh.

i should probably go back to my revisions shudnt i.

i cant wait for this to be over. by this, i mean both of the things im going thru right now.

exams are killing me i swear

2011-05-16T18:51:00.006+01:00

dear exams, i think about u all the time. every time u cross my mind, i have goosebumps, when i eat, i think about you, when i sleep, i dream about you, when i look at the wall, i think about u again. i think im in love with you exams.

deep down i really3 wish that i could get first class this year thou i no the possibility is like 0.00001. honestly idk how to express my feelings right now, its like half way aiming for the best and half way giving up. no its act not giving up, im not giving up really, its just that i no no matter how hard i work now, its really near to impossible to get what i want. wow so much of negativity today. well, point is, i desperately truly wanna get first class but i no i havent been putting much effort into getting it. i dont deserve a first class results considering i started doing revisions less than 2 weeks before exams and ive got 6 papers this yr. hermmm its like ure hoping something impossible to be possible like making the japanese stop bowing whenever they greet ppl. lol im not making sense.

peer pressure is one thing i hate the most. and how can a person be soooooooo kiasu. y cant u be happy when u see your frens are studying. doesnt that motivate you to study more and isnt that a good thing for you? rimas laa when you started talking about how hard i study to other ppl. dude, whats the point? ure pushing ppl away if you keep doing that. well anyway, i dont think i shud allocate any of my limited time for ppl like you. so yeah im jus sayinggg.

other than that i cant wait for exams to finish, yes i no i havent even sit for my first paper how can i get tired of it already lol oh well.

desperate housewives final episode was very ...... gosh i cant find any words to describe how amazing the episode was. the friendship and togetherness theyre showing, hands down. i love it when theyre always helping each other out no matter how bad the situation is, even when carlos killed an old man, which is gabby's step father. well truthly, that man deserves to be dead he's evil but i dont want carlos to go to the jail either. anyway, i wish i cud meet the producer of desperate housewives one day. he has my respect from top to toe man. *bows*

NOW i shud go back to my revision. xxxxxxxxxxx

im stronger than you ppl think XD

2011-04-30T15:38:00.009+01:00

i once had this conversation with a close friend of mine and for some random reasons, id like to share it here. its those things that have been bugging me for so long. well i guess its time, lol a lil bit of exaggerations there. EXAGGERATIONS ALERT! lol

well, to start it of, i personally think that i am one lucky girl who is not being grateful enough (agree?), i choose not to brag or show off or anything here but my 22 years of life has been soo great, really, relatively compared to the other ppl in the world. i dont really have financial problems, i have one big happy family, i am in a pretty good health (well despite of the excessive consumptions of coke and crisps ehem ehem lol), my education path went very smoothly, i get to go to the places i want, i din work hard on getting scholarships, i was offered to study abroad when i didnt even care about my future at that point of time, i have many good friends, i have little enemies or non? i have been soo lucky most of the time. seriusly, y complain? y whine on things that i have when there are ppl out there who are less fortunate than me? this is when that friend of mine said ppl are never satisfied of what they have. true that.

so i came to a conclusion that, MAYBE i havent really been tested by HIM. im scared. am i even allowed to be scared now, idk already. what if the issue here is the timing, where the truth is that all the tests from HIM are yet to come? reality and future are scary arent they. admit it, you feel the same way as i do now.

oh well, just a few things to ponder! =)

on another note, 50% worth coursework in 4 days! =((((((((( and progress on ppf (30% worth) is 80%! =(((((

pray for me?

i wanna marry a prince too!!

2011-04-29T12:14:00.002+01:00

the title above says it all. kbye. lol. kidding. this isnt about the prince, its about im failing my third yr, and that is way way way more important than the royal wedding. seriusly.

i have 2 courseworks to be done in a week. i havent started on a single thing for revisions. i swear i am not exaggerating. ppl around me, they always say im such a drama queen, i keep telling ppl that imma screw up that im failing but at the end of the day i always pull it off. true that but this time around, its different. i have less than two weeks to revise all 6 papers, all 6 modules that have been taught in a year, yes you heard me, in ONE FREAKING YEAR. on top of that i havent exactly been a good student this year, considering the design project that jammed my head up for almost 2 months. third year being hard itself doesnt help. really. who am i kidding right. im not a genius. i wish i am =( how can i get myself into this. i think ive been holidaying too much, but m not regretting that i went to LA for 3 weeks. it was like going to your dream country. huhu. =( but maybe i shudnt have gone there that long. shud have shorten it right. sigh.

bottom line is I AM PANICKING AND THIS ISNT GOOD AT ALL. oh shoot me already!

p/s - i still wanna marry a prince. pls?

pp/s - switching to blog from fb. hehe. i feel awesome cos i deactivated my fb. haha doesnt make sense, does it. lol

happy belated new year! XD

2011-01-14T14:56:00.005Z

/its 2011 already? and imma be 22 years old in few days already? time is one creeppyy thingg. pls stay away from me, dear creepy time.

/the last song is one sad sad sad movie. is it just me or the movie is the saddest thing ive ever watched? i think its me. its a story about a relationship btween a daughter and a dad. i get too emotional when the sad story is related to dads or mums. typical me. not suprising at all.

/my decision making skill sucks. well u might wanna say, tell me something i dunno. cos im famous with being indecisive n it annoys the hell out of me sometimes. haha. i smell new yr resolutionnn. woots. =)

/i like eating and it kills me. cos once i start eating, there'll be no tmrw lol exaggerate much? seriuslyy, its been quite out of control lately. i literally binge eat. feeling full is not in my dictionary anymore. lol. but i do enjoyy eating good food. i shud be thankful instead. y am i complainingg! its because i get fat easily. haha we call it self-conflictingg. im famous at doing that too. y do i sound like im proud of it. haha shuddup already

byeee. next movie in line, dear john! weeeeeee XD XD XD

yaw

2010-11-24T19:03:00.001Z

this blog is dead and neglected babaiiiiii XD

acrylonitrile is a bitch

2010-10-06T05:23:00.003+01:00

! last night i slept at 8pm and woke up at 3++am. sigh, improved much? NOT. dear mr jetlag i dun think u understand this, but i need my normal biological clock back soo badly, as i have a lot of stuffs to do and skipping classes is no more an option. so please be good to me!

! ive started a lil bit of research on the design project that is due on nx tuesday. is it just me or they dont have much informations on acrylonitrile on the internet? herm. i hate doing research because i suck at it. big time. no kidding

! i think ive lost weight but as weird as it may sound, m not feeling good about it. prolly because of the unhealthy life im living now. by unhealthy life, i meant no exercise no apetite and no good food. =( i miss proper good food i had evryday when i was in msia. i miss those days when i dun have to take care of my ownself. evrytg had always been taken care back then. isnt that just great?

! well, anyways, watched oth s8 and it took me by suprise that clay was alive, i thot he was not gonna make it. jamie has put on some weight, nonetheless he's still my favourite boy! hehe. seasons by seasons, episodes by episodes, my love towards nathan scott grows stronger and stronger, ceywah. haha. but its true yo. the fact that he wanted to donate his kidney to clay really touched my heart. omg i wanna marry a nathan scott pls!

! while on the other hand, gossip girl s4 is becoming interesting day by day. and is it just me or serena is soo breath-takingly gorgeous? anyhow, good job Josh Schwartz, keep me anticipated!

how beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward

2010-10-05T05:33:00.005+01:00

hey its been one hell of a long time i havent update my blog. truth is i didnt really have much time to go online during summer break. summer break was awesome anyway. wish its longer =(

i havent been really eating properly and sleeping sufficiently. evrytg went haywired and i dun quite like this. i miss evryone and evrytg at home. this is not good. first day of school wasnt as relaxing as i expected. ive already got a 6 pages assignment which is due next tuesday. i cant skip classes anymore, theyre taking attendance this yr and if we happen to get low points in attendance theyll tarik our visa and we'll be deported. how nice! i have a MAJOR decision making to do n i cant seem to decide on this one. petrochem? french? petrochem? or french again? gosh, i hate myself for being so indecisive. it makes my life so much harder! masoc is organizing a raya event this saturday. its only 2nd day and there are soooo many things to do! on top of all that, im seriusly jetlagged. give me a break already!=(

bye

lets pretend we've never met

2010-07-29T14:34:00.002+01:00

/how was obs u ask? it was funnnn=) i love evry bit of it well except the part where i get sunburnt REAL bad, super bummer la weyh. adoi =( god no-s, my not-so-high-confidence level is subzero alreadyy cos of my burnt toasted face. nevertheless it was worth it. haha. there i said it! its unbelievable, this thing came out from my mouth. right? scary but true!

/kayak expedition wasnt exactly my favourite one but whaling was okay. =) experiencing capsize in the middle of the HUGEE sea wasnt a good experience to be remembered. but i made it through. something to be proud of. =) at lis now i can brag about it to evryone else huahuahua.

/i have bruises all over my body and pimples all over my face. haha scaryyy x!

/but if i was given a chance to come again, i wudnt wanna come. haha. contradicting much? thing is, i haf enuf of kayaking alreadyy. like seriusly. its way too tiring u dun wanna no. beyond tiring weyh. n thats when, i got burnt.

/well all in all i enjoyed myself =) theres one thing i learnt from obs that i dun think my other mates learnt it. its hermmmm haha blerghh m not gonna tell u what it is. n m glad i went to the obs! that lesson i learnt makes my life soooooo much easier. oh yeahhhh.

/went to sunway pyramid today after sending asri off to intec. so yeah believe it or not, i still go out with the not-really-exposable face =( =( n i got lost in usj haha wth right?

/watched the socerer's apprentice. it wasnt that bad at all. in fact the movie was pretty good. i love it =)

/ris blanje sushi n yakisoba! hehehe=) ape mimpi minah tu tah. lols =P

/currently obsesed with kissing you, lets just fall in love again and ob spirit song. hehehe. i likeeee.

sorry but we're just not in the same league

2010-07-13T05:39:00.002+01:00

/so yeah im pissed off. dun make ppl wait for you or even change plans w/o considering the consequences on others no matter whu u r. like seriusly.

/now i dun feel like going out alreadyy. this is weird, coming out from my mouth. herm.

/day by day, my affection towards along's new car is getting stronger. n its two ways thing u no. the car seems to like me too. i can tell. haha.wei,, swap jom? lols.

/ watched eclipse last friday. we were lucky to get awesome seats eventhou it was a really last minute decision and hell yeah jacob black is irresistibly undeniably overwhelmingly desirably ( haha euw imeyk) hottttttttttttttttttt. his hotness is really beyond words. hahahahaha. no im serius, he's hot weyh.

/going to penang tmrw. hehe. im soo excited to eat the amazingg fooddd, well in other words im excited to get fat. haha. by the time i get back, m pretty sure m 5 kgs heavier.

/did medical checkup yesterday and bummer, m healthy so yeah there's no exception. lets face it imeyk, u really have to attend this thing. dammit =( i had a dream last night. no, it was a nightmare. i was at lumut undergoing the obs programme. it was terrible. period.

/i gained 5 kgs of weight. stupid weighing scale =(

/i just realized that july is/ is gonna b the busiest month for me. i have a lot of stuffs going on. its good thou. like i said, this is exactly what i need right now. niceeeee.=D

so i decided to still go out. haha. ayam. bye.

getting carried away is not a good thing

2010-07-07T15:27:00.002+01:00

/today was the first single day that i dun go out since i got back last week. haha. well, truth is i was supposed to go out today, promised chepol for a lunch date buttt it was raining damn heavily that i was afraid to go out. wanted to make it late lunch date instead, but bummer, i slept all the way till 5pm. so yeah, i ended up not going out today.

/anyhuu, im gonna go to ou tmrw. mana wants to wall climb idk if i wud join her, but lets decide on this tmrw, shall we?

/its 13 days away from that damn obs thingg. ive been dreading this over a year. haha. over. point is, i dun wanna go weh. its the same feeling,as the one when i was back in f2 when the school holiday is over and its time to go back to school n be tortured again. its the sundays feeling.well actually its the sunburn effects that i hate the most about obs besides the tiredness it gives obviously. im hoping that the weather wud behave but dreamm onn imeyk, with the global warming the world is facing now, im pretty sure that the weather wudnt listen to yur wish.

/it feels good when me n my dear treadmill get together again after a year. haha. but i figured that my stamina has been decreasing for god no-s y!=( i used to jog 3kms back then, but now i get all tired already when its only 2kms. dammittt! how do i increase the staminaaaa! i nid it for obs! urgh.

/watched knight and day last monday at klcc, after sooo loooong not watching movies at cinema! when was the last time i went to cinema?! it was in april! im amazed weh! anyway, knight n day was freaking hillarious i tell u. its a must watch movie dowh!

/apparently i get carried away. i need to get back on track alreadyy. they wud kill me if they no whats happening.

i feel gooooood.

2010-07-04T17:19:00.005+01:00

/so yeah i actually went to picc for the orchest todayy. huahuahua. reached home 11pm after sending asri off. my life is just soo great now, plis dun ruin this. =) =) and heck it was sooo good to c my knights fellow! theyre having another slipover right now. i was supposed to join them bcuz wawa's here!! but i din join em, well, for obvious reason, because i HAVE to go back. sigh. sorry wawa, ill make it up to you!!

/the last time i ate today was in the morning before i drove mak to pasar tani. wow. im amazed. lol. its not that i dun wanna eat. but i dun have the time to eat. come to think of it, if by being busy, i cud reduce my food consumption then yes id rather be busy. haha.

/my sleeping pattern is haywired now due to the jetlag. ive never experienced jetlag b4. well this is the first time it gives me the undesired effects. give me a break already, jetlag!

/ a friend of mine said something in the car just now and it hit me, a part of me wants it too. herm. i guess m just not lucky. huhu

totally stucked

2010-07-03T15:43:00.004+01:00

wow its been a while, i miss blogging sometimes. thing is, ive been busy. herm well, kind of. haha. ive been having funhhhh and it was uber funnhhh that i just cant stop to want to have funhhh. lol. i like having funhh. whu doesnt.

i wanted to watch tv but both tvs are unavailable at the moment. maktok's downstairs watching tv1 and abah and asri are watching football upstairs. so how do i get to watch tv then?

anywaysss, last two days were beyond awesome. like seriusly. having to meet knights was just what i really3 need! im supposed to go to picc tmrw for the orchest competition butttt ive been going out evryday since the day i came back from uk. how is that ok with my parents? the timing cudnt be more 'perfectttt' sigh. herm. hence, not going tmrw. =( =(

i no i lose a few kgs of weight b4 i came back to msia which made me happy with it thou i deny it sometimes. hehe. ive been denying stuffs a lot lately. i myself wonder why. but anyway, ive gained a few kgs back while its only the 4th day me being in msia. wth right? it sounds so unrealistic. well,u see, ive been eating thrice a day or sumtimes quadrice excluding the snacks. so yeah now that makes a whole lot of sense. yes? omg. i just cant stop eating wei. thats like the biggest problem i have right now erm besides the wanting-to-go-out-evryday-to-hav-fun-but-the-very-protective-parents-wudnt-b-ok-with-it problem. sigh.

so yeah. went to italy for 8 days n it was greatttttt. i miss it sometimes. well i always miss evrytg. so typical imeyk. haha. its too great that i really dunno how to express it in words. ceywah. haha. sbnrnya mls nk tulis. lol. but one thing that ill never ever forget about italy is that it got my feet tanned and lined! sigh. it was 34 freakingg degrees kot. and it rained when we went to venice. the view was supposed to be sooo nice if it wasnt raining. bummer right. anyhow, all in all, the trip was just great.

i wanna buy new handphoneeeeeeeeeee!! herm.

im bored already. bye

it was one hell of a blessing in disguise

2010-06-13T02:08:00.004+01:00

/im sorry bloggie, i din really have the time to talk to you. i no uve been waiting for me. *y am i talking to the blog?.lol. no, im still sane*

/i went straight away to london after the not-so-awesome-exams. left the room with clothes and bags and papers all over the bed and floor. that is soo not me. haha ceyy. its called indirectly self claimed.

/herm. exams were not being nice to me. i hate u exam. enuf said.

/having to vacate with my parents for 10 days was exactly what i needed, the timing was perfect. it was beyond awesome. hehe. =) and honestly, im missing them already. =( =( =( i wanna go back! i wanna go back! i wanna go back! well,i think im getting spoiled here. ignoring me wud be the best thing to do at the moment. huahuahua

/thank you aak for everything. u are beyond awesome too. huahuahua.

/wanted to do my laundry but scared to go to the laundry room. its soo quiet and it seems like im the only human in this bulding. hence, being the chicken me, hand washing and heater drying were done. which then means that im gonna have to sleep a bit late tonight, despite of having to wake up early tmrw. i have a train to catch. dammit imeyk, when are yu gonna grow up. be a man. i mean a woman? urgh point is, when am i gonna be brave enuf to not being scared of all these petty things.

/the body is not feeling well, pls get well soon. i hate being sick. whu loves being sick anyway.

/am not looking forward for italy trip. its normal thou. i never get excited over trips few days b4 the trips, for god knows y.

bye.

your love is my derrruuuughhhhhh

2010-05-28T07:11:00.005+01:00

cl : so hows ur summer plan?
me : oh. we're going to italy! =)
cl : really?when?
me : 14th june till 22nd june. y?
cl : exactly the same time i went last yr. URE GONNA GET TANNED!! the weather was so hot! in fact i think its gonna be worse this year due to the global warming.
me : shuxx. ive already bought the flight tix! =S

*damn. im gonna get tanned even before i go to OBS. how la! how la!

*4 papers down, 2 more to go. seriusly cant wait for evrytg to get over with.

*JUST, like for real, JUST a week away from freedom anddd seeing my parents again. n bubaq too! weeeeeee.=D

*watched desperate hsewives epi, herm i cant remember which epi. but point is, that porter's long haired friend is scaryyyyyyyyyy. desper8 hsewives is getting scarrier now, that i had to close my eyes during a few scenes. ppl dun close their eyes when they watch desper8 hsewives! haha. i know right!

*last week was so far the warmest week, it was like 20++ degrees and ppl kept complaining that its too hot. so yeah, thanks to them (act that includes me.hehe), now the weather isnt as nice as last week alreadyy. i love wearing flip flops! plisss2 dear mr weather, be nice again! i promise, i wont say those ''panas gle'', ''too hot'', ''tres chaud'''(haha since wen i speak french weh) words again.

*i just discovered one way of i-wanna-get-thin-so-badly dietting. its called sleeping, haha. i found it to be kind of effective on me. so there you go. sleeping diet it is! haha. but ill only commence this diet once m done with the exams or ill get screwed, due to the excessive sleep which obviously results in not studying. get the picture?! right.

*currently addicted to airplanes and your love is my derrruggghh!

so, bye now. ive got a business with those PPC notes. haha. what kind of business cud it possibly be.

i cud really use a wish right now

2010-05-26T13:24:00.006+01:00

/i screwed up. big time. i swear, m not exaggerating. the worst paper ive sat so far.

/had some thoughts and they are screwing my mind over. they always are.

/the other world is happy with its life while the other's at its lowest point. how can it be so unfair.

/two hardest hurdles at a time. its not as easy as evryone think to cope with them. let alone to put one of em aside for a while. it doesnt work on me that way.

how can my life be this sucky? dun tell me m not being thankful. cos ure not helping. and dun ask me if m okay. cos m not.

listen to many, speak to a few.

2010-05-17T18:55:00.006+01:00

''death is not the greatest loss in life, the greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live''

/watched oth last wik's episode. it was herm, weird. ive never been this affected whenever i watch oth. it was heartrending.

/stopped studying since last 3 hours. so yeah. i failed. i was defeated by my own temptation. sigh. this isnt exactly what i need right now. gosh, exams are scary. scarier than thrill rides, scarrier than horror movies.

/at this point, thinking too much doesnt help. hence, i shall stop thinking.

/will be seeing my parents in less than 3 wiks time. the most awesome thing that cud happen to me now. i cant wait. =)

xxx,zombie

an extremely addictive song, it is.

2010-05-12T16:34:00.007+01:00

IMPOSSIBLE by shontelle.

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

p/s - thank you shontelle. it means a lot. really. haha. =D

xxx, zombie

lets reduce it

2010-05-11T04:30:00.000+01:00

i look like a zombie now

liquid mixing is a bitch.

2010-05-07T04:16:00.004+01:00

im done with courseworks. its a hugee relieve now that i can really sit down and focus on the revisions.

i havent been studying hard (been studying soft?haha. lame), havent been eating (tipu!!), havent been sleeping (true to some extent, evidence: ive developed eyebags)

when i said, im failing horribly, i wasnt exaggerating.
when i said, im panicking, i wasnt lying.
when i said, im freaking out, i wasnt kidding.
when i said, im gonna screw up, i wasnt joking.

when i said, i dun have enough time,i wasnt.....herm. well thats where i lied. cos u see, i actually have sufficient time to study but i dun use it wisely. im not as strong as i thought to fight these unwanted stupid distractions. ive been day dreaming, surfing internet like that was the first time i get the access to the internet (wtv gle imeyk!), cooking (???cooked tomyam today. what was i thinking?! i dun cook, for god's sake! haha. over.)

point is, IF im failing (nauzubillah), its entirely, completely, totally my fault. hence, i shall put the blame on myself. sekian terima kasih.

shits happen but miracle dont come easily

2010-05-02T16:51:00.005+01:00

g: wei, tau tak psl project kalsom organized by ukec tu?
f: tau. y?
g: aku da sign up for facilitator. jom laaa pegi skali, bley buat lawak bangang same2 (??itu je ke the reason ure tagging me along!)
f: hermm. almk! kena decide now ke? naaaakkkk tp takoooowttt. x confident. m not as confident as u. damn. *gelak2 sket* wei, cmne ni? cm takot jeee. xyah laaa. hermmm. kene register by ble?bley back out ke if tetbe i change my mind? mls nk pk! xtau aa weiii..(as usual, glabah2 segala)
g: ala. jom laa. oke. done! aku dah register for kau. check email kau, nnt die bg confirmation bla3
f: ????? heyyyyy!!! i din even say yes nak pegy!! ure such an ayam!

she no-s how to be the real ayam ajak-er!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

/haha. i miss her. but as i sed, not as much as she misses me tho.

/exams panic is attacking me. m pretty sure m gonna have a nervous breakdown in few days time. im failing. no revision in progress yet. still stucked with the PPC coursework.

/on a brighter note : my parents are coming in a month time. awesomenesss!! i cant wait.

/newcaslte, c'etait marveuilleux!! =) i miss the place and the ppl. haha but again, not as much as they miss me tho. =P ( i kept saying this lately, i wonder y. herm)

/mak said, '' im the only lady at home now, with 4 guys. we r maid-less now, the boys tgh bsh kereta together, ur dad goyang kaki on the bed in front of the tv tgk footbal match liverpool lwn sape tah, i have to cook, cant wait for yu to come back, so that we can eat yur tomyam. and whenever we do household chores together, we nyanyi the wonderpet song (apa yg penting, kerjaa....samaaaa). haha'' awww i misssss mereka.

again, m failing.

herm.

2010-04-28T20:49:00.002+01:00

y do i still have faith in THIS?

There are many things that i would like to say to you
but i don't know how.

damn i let my guard down.

the whole world seems depopulated

2010-04-23T11:18:00.006+01:00

highlights of the (week?):

/leaving newcastle in 3 days. gonna miss the place, paqin, moff n evryone.

/PIU accessed coursework is halfway done, but process system joint lab report, havent started a single thing. how la how la! im so screwed kan! the fact that i just found out that im gonna have french speaking test next thursday n no revision in progress, really doesnt make things any better.

/i painted my nails lime green. now i look more like princess fiona in shrek. haha. with the weight i gained, its a perfect combination! good job imeyk. LOLS.

/i promised to myself not to babble on the fat issue here anymore, BUT i just cant help it. seriously, these days, i binge eat like noone's business. i get hungry all the time. i dont do any form of exercises. they feed me like there's no tmrw. well, truth be told, the more food fed into my mouth, the happier i get. hence, i guess, thanks for feeding me and making me fat. however, i never fail to feel guilty after i binge eat. its always like that. sigh.

/im as happy as those birds now, please dont ruin this.

/having the idea of going to aussie in july. but i doubt ill get the parents' permission that easy. since my summer break in msia will be shorter (its already short due to the stupid obs ive to attend and also, im gonna spend the first month of break in uk), hence less time to spend with fam = 50% of the possiblity of getting a green light.

/im truly screwed. i havent do any plannings for the summer trip. shits. bubaq go online pls! major help is needed!! =S

sometimes being selfish is not selfish

2010-04-16T23:17:00.004+01:00

it isnt supposed to be this hard. we make it hard.

ive been doing a lot of thinking lately. n it got me into a conclusion: everything that u expect to happen wont happen that easy or probably just wont happen.

anyhuuuuuu, i just got back from amsterdam. how was amsterdam, u ask? well, it was incredibly awesome. i had fun. thats the best part, obviously.

there you go, my fav pic of all. =)

last but not least, i miss my parents. havent talk to them for agessss. sigh.

im trying

2010-04-09T09:32:00.005+01:00

its been almost 2 weeks since the day i came to newcastle. n m not suprised, i gained 5kg of weight. how awesome is that? my face is getting chubbier, n the pictures taken prove it right. the angle of the camera has done its best to make me look thinner, but it doesnt work on me anymore. its beyond help. im really getting to the point of giving up. nevertheless, i know this whole getting fat issue will never leave me alone. it bothers me all the time. tell me how do i deal with it.

the sun is out. i can feel the heat n it feels realyy good. at this kind of hour, i dont regret waking up early. anyways, im going to amsterdam tomorow. i was excited two three days ago, but now, the excitements are nowhere to be seen. this thing happens all the time. so m not really suprised.

im supposed to plan for the summer trip but ive been procrastinating everythg ever since i reached here. and its not good. the fact that i suck at planning trips really doesnt make things easier. dun let me start on the untouched assignments ive been piling up. i knew this was gonna happen. i made a promise to myself, by hook or by crook, the assignments need to be completed b4 going back to birm. its highly impossible tho. haha.

y does everything has to be complicated? a question that has been lingering around my head.

i miss aak already. lucky me, paqin's always there for me.

sometimes hope isnt exactly what you need

2010-04-01T19:07:00.002+01:00

as much as i want evrytg to be just fine for u, deep down, im pretty mashed. huhu. heckk, m THAT selfish. ill be mashed-er than ever if u feel even a tiny bit guilty. anyways, its cool nw. =) m not mad, just being a selfish spoiled fren. hehe

anyhuuu, 1st week of easter break is just great. digging in excessively is like my avocation now. gaining weight and growing sideways arent my issue anymore. lets face it, its time for my body to have its break after years of food deprive.(lols. deprive lah sgt)

im losing the grip. i wish i can read ppl's mind. thatll make my life soo much easier.

if i could only have one wish, it wud be just one you.

2010-03-24T02:52:00.005Z

hye wawe=)

i guess u deserve more than just a bday text from me.
i remembered the last time we hung out,(it was last summer, wasnt it?) u came to my hse all the way from batu pahat just to see me (n well the others too), we hung out at sunway pyramid n mamak n then bubaqs appartment n then i gave u the whole box of extra chewing gum when u were about to get on the bus to go back to b.p. truth be told, i was damn sad that time dowh.=(

we havent talk for ages n we used to keep in touch tru facebook. but nw that i dun have fb anymore, i miss you more than ive ever missed you..!! gosh, i swear im missing you badly right now..!

anyways, point is, HAPPY BDAY waweeee!! one more point, i miss you like gilaaa!

p/s- see THAT SINFUL CHUBBY CHEEKS? yes i was THAT FAT. well, i still am tho. seriusly, im considering to do the liposuction treatment. practically its pemissible in islam, in such a way that these excessive fats cud make it difficult for me to function normally in society (according to the site i read). haha. difficult to function normally in society?like how, imeyk??well, anyways, correct me if im wrong.

*liposuction imeyk?lol. once more, just ignore me.*

too bad i wasnt part of it

2010-03-22T09:03:00.005Z

im currently in the garner suite room finishing off our final group report. how awesome is that? its the last monday in uni for this term yet one hell of a long day. its only 10.30am n im starving as hell. despite of the fact that ive already had my bfast 2 hours ago. m such a monster dont you think so?right, i shud be ashamed of myself, remember? * sarcasm very much intended here*

the PDE group report is going on pretty well i guess. im hoping we wudnt have to make any changes anymore after this. then, thats left me with fixed bed coursework which ive gotten the answer but i dun think its correct, ive been trying to find out what went wrong these past 2 days but the methods are all right when i compared them to my fren's. how lahhhh?!

not to forget. im gonna have french speaking test this thurs! im scareedddd i gues. =S

the poster presentation will be taking place in a few hours time. im not sure what to feel. do i have to be nervous? y am i asking this quest in the first place? wtv.

its 4 days away from freedome! i cant wait. seriusly. easter break = hanging out with paqin, moffat n galak. plis, be jeles of us. huhu. did i say i have plansss already? yeah i think i did. haha.

/current obsession = food. esp dessert
/current physical appearance = fat
/current mind state = occupied
/current emotional state = content?

was i just bitter? no i wasnt.

if being overweight is a sign of wealth, then im filthy rich.

2010-03-18T03:34:00.005Z

slept at 10.30 n woke up at 2. whats with me?

after a verryy long time, ive finally finished reading 'the gift'. id say..its an interesting book. lesson learnt: appreciating your loved ones. and time cant be given but it can be shared. soo true! im gonna spend all the time ive got with the loved ones veryy wisely.

AST bdminton is on this saturday. as usual, ill be the score keeper and registration girl. thatll always be my job. lol.

1 week left b4 easter break. galak's going to newcastle too. its gonna be FUNNNHHHH! i have plans alreadyy. huhu.

exams timetable is out. hell yeah, its scaryyyyyy. *goosebumps* anyhow, my last paper will be on the 4th june but my parents will reach london on the 3rd. how lahhh?!

major help is needed. im considering to go to the psychiatrist. im fat. yes this is the time when the supposedly high confidence level is dropping abruptly for no reason. the fact that ive been eating like a pig lately, really doesnt help. i seriously do understand how betty suarez feels.

xxx, me.

im sorry im hoping ull be sometg ure clearly not

2010-03-16T09:29:00.007Z

i woke up at 9 tday with the pure intention of wanting to attend the 10am class, lucky me i checked the bham email evry morning,and the class is cancelled. greattttt. if i knew this earlier i wudnt have to wake up this early. (*truth is im glad the class is cancelled. lol. the lazyness jumps with joy*)

at last, im watching the ugly betty series. hehe. ive never wanted to watch this b4 but m running out of series to watch currently. haha. looks like i have 'plenty' of time to kill right?*sarcasm intended*

i ended up going to warwick last sunday. cos paqin changed her mind. haha. it was fun again but the wind was really strong. no kidding. i learnt something ive never thot of b4. n it hit me, its soooo true dohh.

the weather is behaving day by day. its great. i love sunny day (minus the wind). n i love the fact that my flip flop is not only for kitchen use anymore, now that i can wear it to aldi. huhu. this is awesomeeee.

i lovee my coloured nails. theyre colourfullll. y do i feel like loving evrytg now? the answer is, cos im lovely. haha. self claimed weh.

in less than 2 weeks time, ill be in newcastle for maybe a month? haha thats long, isnt it? well, the plus side is i get to hang out with paqin n moff there. cooliooo.

cant wait to get evrytg over with. AST badminton is coming up. poster presentation, fixed bed reactor coursework, french TEST (this is the scariest of all), andd grup report submission in these last few days of spring term. then, evrytg spells joyyy. haha. im ignoring the fact that end of spring term = easter break = nearing exams period, well for now its totally acceptable to ignore this part. in fact, its like a month n half away from now. thats loooong wayyy to go. haha. the more i think about it, the scarier it gets. so, yeah, just shut up.

as much as i hate to care, its bugging me evry single day. this is just how its supposed to happen to me, aint it? again, for the umpteenth time, its unfair.

dont think ure pleasing me enourmously when u tell me a whole heap of things that u dun mean

2010-03-13T13:42:00.008Z

its weekends, hence the haywireness of my biological clock is doing its job now. haha. i slept at 7am tday. n woke up at 12pm cos onee called me. she's not coming here tday, but tmrw instead.

im really confused now. idk whether to love/hate omco cos theyre having this special offer for the walkers sensation chips. (note: thats my current favourite snack). its now 79p per 160g pack. it was 1.79 btw. i had no choice but to buy it for my bfast this morning. greatttt. there goes my so called say no to chips resolution. see the pic below? yell at me, ''go die''. ill accept it with all myheart. i know i deserve it. *credit to mana*

th hotel food yesterday was awesome. it was worth it. lol.

the laundry incident last thursday gave me a really bad impression on the new washing machine n new drier. and also, now i realize that im sooo absent minded.

paqin is not going to warwicks games. awefullnessss. haha. but i might go thou cos onee wants to go. but i might not, too. hermm.

i have to finish up the 300 words write up by tmrw.cos we'll probably need it for the poster. well it doesnt seem a lot thou, once i get the info, it can be done in like half an hour time. but, i swearrr i have no idea how to get all thoseee infos.

i vow to myself never to get involved again.

and that's exactly where the cruelty comes in

2010-03-11T11:10:00.004Z

''it was just a day full of shit. so again im moving on to the next step. n seriusly, its just not my cup of tea ANYMORE. it was, though.'' said the subconcious mind.

haha. dun worry if u dun get this,ure not alone, cos i myself dun really get the msg there. huhu

/i slept at 8pm until 12am last night n slept again after subuh. haha. haywired much? not just yet. wait until the weekends come, then ull get the pic of how haywired biological clock works on me.

/for some weird reasons, i feel goooooood today. haha. its the same feeling when u get good results in the big exam and u're making ur parents proud of you. yes thats exactly how i feel right now. lol.

/guess what? i broke the rules. i ate doritos yesterday n chocs as well. imma put the blame on mana. its completely ur fault wei! haha.

/onee's coming tmrw, hence, room spring cleaning and laundry-ing.

/there's no progress on the PDE write up since the last time i did it. idk how to do it. im soo dead.

/cant wait for easter break = no more lectures = done with courseworks (although, we're gonna have to complete a lab report over the easter break) = the best part is done with PDE project! its gonna be one hell of a relief!! seriusly.

/paqin might go to warwicks games. awesomeness.=)

/ill probably get to talk to nuyerq this weekend. how awesome is that!

/for a moment there, i thot i was right.

fluctuating mental state

2010-03-07T19:09:00.008Z

finally, i did my supposedly monthly sainsburry groceries shopping today. the las tym i did my groceries at sains was like,what?3 months ago? haha. how on earth did i survive all this while? lol. i have no idea. trust me my monthly food stock is really unorganized. so is my evryday meal. i talked to abah the other day about how/what i eat evryday, and yeah, serve me right, i got the usual lecture u get when yur dad is worried sick about you. huhu. ''remember uncle bla3? he died cos of the stomach cancer due to the gastric, cos he always skiped his meals, drink coke too much yada3'' said abah. huhu, honestly, i dun wanna die just yet. hence, new resolutions: have 3 proper meals a day, forget getting fat, being healthy comes first, and yes, say no to coke and chips (this is probably the most difficult thing to do). haha. refer to the pic above. right, anyway, we'll c how it goes tmrw and days after. wish me luck.

project design: they assign me to do the hardest part of the project, well at lis for me its the hardest, which are experimental formulation, plant design and supply chain write up. good news is, experimental formulation is almost done, BUT plant design and supply chain, they really do get on my nerves. i cant really find informations on them in the internet which pretty much stresses me out at the moment. im done with it today. its movie time now. haha. i only did the research for like an hour, n the next hour im watching movies. n now im whining about it. so whu's to be blamed? haha. my ownself. i know.

p/s-it really does fluctuate that much.

IF i cud swap places with someone else,

2010-03-04T15:34:00.010Z

MARCH HIGHLIGHTS

5th march - PDE lab

6th march - AST football match (whole day on the field)

12th march - PPC lab ( a group lab report assigned) n PDE LAB

13th march - onee's coming

14th march - warwick's games? not sure if id go. most likely no. but the msian food? indecisive,i am.

16th march - the prize gvg thing

20th march
- AST badminton match (its a whole day thing again)
- cardiff's game? not sure if i cud excuse myself to go to cardiff. depends on the number of volunteers that wud turn up. hence, to be confirmed.

22nd march - poster presentation for project design

25th march
- group report submission for project design
- French speaking & reading TEST
- fixed bed reactor coursework submission

swap places with me, plis.

BY THE WAY, while i was talking to james in the atrium just now, there was this one girl passing by us, carrying THAT JC handbag ive always wanted to have. i gave her the im-s0-f-jealous-of-that-sinful-thing-ure-carrying-around stare! at that moment, i was completely crushed into pieces, my world was gone, my life was destroyed. *lol. exaggerate!* point is, i want that bag badly! sigh. life's unfair, agree?

now i long for yesterday

2010-03-01T15:36:00.003Z

dear universe,

this morning, it took me 49 seconds to get out of the bed, due to the muscle aches which are all over the body. well mainly, because we played 4 20-minutes-matches on saturday, and also, i slept on the floor on the sunday night. speaking of which, the weekend in manchester was fun. mainly because i got to hang out with paqin n moffat, n now i miss them already. =(

we won the 3rd place. haha. dun cheer yet. it was actually 3rd out of 6. there were only 6 teams playing netball. so yeah we were not that good. we were just lucky cos all the good teams didnt come. we were an underdog during the matches. and anyways, the manchester's games was not as happening as i expected. wel, lucky them, the bad impression theyve given me, is balanced off with the fact that i got to eat satay, laksa and cekodok pisang!!! hehehe. aint that great! u have no idea how blissed i was,, getting to eat all those msian food. ha ha. its satay wei! for real, i ate satay!! haha. oke enough imeyk, get over it.

oh yeah, the individual presentation just now was erm so-so i guess. i received good feedbacks from my friends. but well, they are my friends, im pretty sure they said so, out of kindness. huhu. the brightside is im done! heh. its such a huge relieve tho.

next event to look forward to is AST which will be held on this coming weekends. phew. there goes my weekends.

a month left for the spring term. i cant believe how time flies. its flying soo fast. n its scary!

cos all thats left has gone away

2010-02-26T10:49:00.004Z

manchester here i come! huhu. ill be reaching there at 10pm tonight while paqin n the gang will only be there at 1am. joel (paqin's fren) whom ive only met once b4, is gonna pick me up. duhhh. its gonna be awkward. somehow rather, im now nervous not cos of the game tmrw, but cos of having to wait for paqin with joel and for 3 freaking hours. lol. m such an antisocial girl. i know.

anyhuu, wish me luck. m more excited for the food than the games, again. what the hell is wrong with me? well, truth to be told, there's a part in me who wants to actually win. haha. but clearly its very near to impossible. right, so thats the reason y i dun get excited on the games tmrw.

i was supposed to sleep at 4 last night, but din manage to stay awake. well, for obvious reason, cos i was damn tired n sleepy. appologies accepted imeyk.

this monday, i have to do an individual presentation in front of the whole class. damn, i bet ill stutter and make a complete fool of myself. ill only be back from manchester on sunday evening. so, tell me when do i get to prepare for the presentation? im screwed. haha. blom present dah screwed. cant imagine how screwd i am after the presentation.

whenever my feet were starting to lose the ground, my heart started to gain the ground. this is unfair.

skyping with elliot yamin isnt something to be proud of. lol

2010-02-23T20:13:00.005Z

the work is piling up, yet i din do any work at all, this very whole day. im a huge dissappoinment. to myself.

ill be going to manchester this weekend. gonna meet paqin n moffat! i cant wait for that!=) n looking forward to play netbal again. hehe. it feels good that i can play again after 3 months. haha. i sound weird, dont i?

anyhuu, i have been watching you're beautiful, greek, oth, n desperate hsewives. i shudnt be watching all these, yknow. aigoo!

however,

oth-this week's episode is rather sad but for some reasons, i like it. its undeniably despairing cos halley's mother died in this episode. n the way she died, it was reallly touching. now i feel like crying. blerghh. haha brooke davis punched alex on her right eye. nice one! lol

youre beautiful- taekyung oppaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!! *imagine the eyes full of lovesssss* i was vapourised whenever he smile. that smile is a killer! seriusly.

greek- welcome back!=)

desperate hsewives-haha. the stripper really doesnt bring any good to wisteria lane. n for god's sake, she's gay.

''the question is, how long is it going to take for you to love yourself?'' said the mother.

keep doing what you are doing =S

distracted

2010-02-21T02:32:00.006Z

today, ive learnt how jerk boys can be. i dont mean this in general thou cos i have a lot of unjerked boy friends. well, i have my own evidences. two good friends of mine came to me, being stressed out and emotionally dsturbed, with heart brokens. i cant help it but to hate those who've hurt them. hence, i can only come up with this impression of how jerk boys can be. m not a direct friend to these jerks but dudes, u guys suck. first, for being the suckiest guy ive ever known. 2nd, for hurting my friends. im not trying to do the protective friend job here but seriusly, dont start it if u knew u were gonna fuck up.

y am i being emo here? haha. wtv. get a life wei.

anyhuuuuu, the report is half way done (yeay!!), however, at this point, up to what ive done, evrything seems wrong, sigh. im not gonna redo it even if its really wrong.

the upset stomach distracts me from doing my report. adoi. which i found that watching 1 epi of you're beautiful might be a cure for that. HA HA. alasan! well, it wont do any harm right? 1 epi je!!! ehehehehehe.

xxx

A-maize-inggg f m!!

2010-02-18T23:01:00.015Z

what am i doing now? skyping with paqin. besides that? drinking coke like nobody's business. gawdd. this is awesome.

i slept from 6 to 9pm just now. obviously cos today was one hell of a tiring day! but it was incredibly fun! =) it didnt go really smooth initially but as it progresses, it went quite well. with the dedicated committes, awesome head steward and fellow energetic stewards, i personally think we pulled it off. good job! hehe. i love this experience. that was my fers time doing a volunteer work, in my whole life, i guess?haha. yeah, im that selfish. haha. plis dun judge me! anyways, i din expect to see malaysians during the event but surprisingly i met a few of them! hehe. at lis ive increased my frens collection! oh3 btw, i had to walk bunch of participants to the pitches from guild which is like 15-20 mins walking distance, n i was accompanied by one of the brum's RUGBY PLAYER. huhu. sangatlahhhh seronok jalan dengan dia wei! haha, kena tulis in bm, cuak kalau mereka baca.

alamak busted ngan paqin! =S she understands what was in my subconcious mind. huhu i din see that coming. shuhhh! diam wei paqin!

anyhuu, i think ive been gaining weight n its not a good thing. =( ive lost track with the usual weight checking schedule. cos m scareeeedddddddd. one thing for sure if i do check my weight now, ill be very upset. urgh. screw this body weight problem.

i havent eaten proper meals these past two days. i had junkfood(snacks) for my lunch and dinner which again is not a good thing and veryyy unhealthy.

one last thing, HAPPY BDAYYYY BRO!! i bought you topman's stuffs. kira bday present lah eh wei. im broke now. cant afford to get you other stuffs. hehe. well at lis the thots are there oke!

bajetttttt!

cant believe m saying this, but ure a good kid!

i just love this pic. hehe

apekah?ure weird.

whats wif the face wei?i mean YOUR face. lol

well, HAPPY BDAY AGAINN!! =)

xxx, your awesome sister.

knowing too much can get you hurt

2010-02-17T19:59:00.003Z

no wonder i had the emotional breakdown thing n ive been eating like a pig these past few days (no kidding). all the wonders are answerd.

good news. ive moved on.

just got back from masoc meeting. i really cant wait for the mamak night!! haha.

ive been acting weird to my parents lately. whats with me? ive been soo cranky, irritating, moody n yada3 evrytyme we skype. i hate myself for that. now that i miss them a lot, padan muke wei! =( =( cant skype with them tmrw cos ive got frank morton the whole day.

speaking of wic, as mentioned million times before, ive volenteerd to be the sport steward for the frank morton tmrw. n we, the stewards, have to get there at 7.30am. gawdd. thats way too early. how am i gonna get up that early. haigoh.

mana just bought a bottle of coke n its 3 freaking liters!! OWW MYY GAWDDD. god knows how happy i am right now! haha.

mental breakdown

2010-02-16T15:39:00.002Z

i have to believe in sumtg ryt now bcus without hope i wudnt be able to breathe

cos i dun deserve this.

2010-02-15T22:19:00.003Z

im not completely ready for tmrw's test. n m not doing the reverse psycho thing now. shuxx. it freaks the hell out of me. cant wait for it to finish. my appetite is INSANE right now. n i think i know y. today i ate 2 portions of my usual normal meal. im already full but i still feel like eating, at this mo, i want that chillis bla3 snack. if only omco can make delivery to my door, ill be the happiest girl on the earth. i have sooo many things to do yet soo little time n soo little driving force. one report due on next thurs. frank morton this thurs. tmrw meeting at 5pm, day after tmrw meeting at 5pm. another coursework assigned. sigh. give me a break already!

y do i still have faith in this?

perplexed

2010-02-14T12:16:00.003Z

bonjour!

>i feel like writing in french. but haha! i dun think i cud even finish 1 paragraph. well thing is, french writing test is coming up. its this tuesday n it freaks me out, well for obvious reason, cos i havent done a single revision. im gonna flunk. for real.

>i think i might get a sunburn. we had our 2nd netball practice this morning. it was damn sunny but, dun get fooled by its presence. it was still cold. sigh. so there goes my sunburned face. bummer.

>they miss me and m flattered.

>the cny dinner went well. its a huge relieve that now i can lay back for a lil bit. however, i was wrong, we have AST upcoming. double the bummer.

>the family is having the big family gathering at my house now while im stucked here alone. isnt that great?!

>please, define complicated.

its all gone

2010-02-12T01:21:00.003Z

updates:

-m now officially not on fb anymore. this deactivation game is fun. haha. one step away from the public, one step closer to my ownself. call me antisocial or standoffish or wtv the hell u ppl call these grups, but i really nid myself now.

-i cant believe the cny dinner is tmrw. finally.

-i ate a lot today (chocolates, chips, digestive biscuits, nasi n ayam) fattening much? i definitely regret every single particles i stuffed into my mouth. i swear.

-i think you are a big fat loser. u pretty much disappoint me.

- JC plays lacrosse and he does ski/jet ski, sumtg like that. aint he the coolest guy on the earth? he is f hot. sumhow he reminds me of nathan scott (james lafferty), james? spot the similarity! hahaha!

-i received a letter from msia. hehe. whu else right? i was damn hyped up ok. hehe. i miss you la besfren.

- i miss my parents. very much.

calling for amira rostam!

2010-02-08T22:30:00.003Z

i just got back from masoc meeting. n it took 3 freaking hours to finish discussing the CNY dinner thing! m exhausted as hell. like seriusly.
anyways, i cudnt sleep last night, but i managed to sleep at 3am, thank god! however, when i woke up ,it was already 10.30am. n the first thing i said to myself when i got up was ''shit i miss subuh and the morning class'' urghhh. screw the sleeping problem! =S

enough about me. this entry is supposed to be dedicated to my bestfren whose bday is today! ive said this for like countless times already, but i insist to say this again on your veryyy special day. hehe. I LOVE YOU GIRLFREN!=)

so as usual, we need pictures to reminisce our good old times before i get to the happy-bday-wish part right? apparently we dun really have a lot of decent pics together. i have a lot without tudungs. haha. how leh?!

my favourite pic of us, of all! hehe. u made this! n thats sweet! i promise ill keep this for life!

2nd fav pic. we look gorgeous, aint we? lol
p/s-i know what pino wud say if she ever read this, haha. (mask rider!! cis)

haha. i miss those crazy & stupid acts we did back then. dont you babe?

look, im doing you a favour, just to outshine you, i choose this pic. haha. look how hungry n greedy i was! i miss this particular moment, when we had the super P & C talk in the car. you do remember that right?

three words--> I MISS YOU! =(

so, here comes the main point of the entry.

whenever i need a shoulder to cry on, a friend to rely on, and whenever my world is gone, i know i wont be alone, cos no matter what, ull always be there! yknow, im really lucky to have you as my bestfren!!=)

so,
HAPPY BDAY AMIRA ROSTAM!

just stay the awesome you oke!
muahxxxx.

xxx,imeyk.

im alive for a reason

2010-02-07T15:09:00.003Z

the busiest month ever, feb it is.

12th - CNY dinner
16th - fench writing test
18th - frank morton
25th - prject design individual report due
27th - manchester's games
one of the mondays - individual presentation (project design again)

shoot me now,pls.

oh dear life, u suck.

p/s - and so do u.

if not insanity

2010-02-06T00:24:00.004Z

so, last weekend L came here, i assumed she came cos of my bday since she cudnt come on the day itself cos she's got her exams going on at that time. well it isnt really an assumption, its a fact. hehe. aint she the sweetest?!=S we cooked good & healthy food on saturday and went out on sunday. she bought this awesome topshop pump for my bday gift! hehe. i very much like it oke! =) thanks darling for coming and of cos for the gift!

oh yes the masoc committees bought a cake for me and we ate it after the meeting las week. hehe. again, thats sweet!=)

well i guess i shud really stop having this bday excitements. i bet evryone is getting sick of my hyping-up on bday celebrations. wel at lis i am.

anywaysss, this week has been quite a busy week for me. currently, i have like a verry longgg to do list and it takes me a week to get evrytg in the list done. sigh. my eating habit has gone haywired, so has my sleeping patern. the stomach gets upset every morning. i get easily tired when i walk fast, especially on one of the days when i woke up late, and had to walk super fast to get to the lecture on time. (lesson learnt-sleep early, wake up early n get to the lecture on time. as simple as that! haha) right, point is, my body stamina is really at its lowest point! so as a conclusion, me and my body, we totally dont understand each other. period.

i have nothing to wear for the CNY dinner which is like in a week time from now.
netball pracitce on sunday, really looking forward for it.

p/s-perhaps you don’t agree with me huh?

one today is worth two tomorows!=)

2010-01-25T16:17:00.011Z

As you may/may not know, its my bday tday!=) wel i guess happy bday to myself! haha

this time around is the most awesome bday in uk ever!!=)the one that ill never ever forget. i promise!

the flatmates, steph n clarinda gave me an early bday celebration. it was supposed to be a suprise but hermm well id choose not to explain more on this bit. (haha kasi can kat mana). there were a loooot of food which then results in the shit-i-gain-weight-again stress. mana n naddy cook my all time fav food (bihun sup) n they made a cake too. just to make it less suspicious, they asked me to join baking the cake n told me that its for hanim (naddy's fren) whu's gonna come. she didnt anyway. (well i DID NOT buy the story! ha ha!=P). mana again bought chocs,junks,and ice cream, omg wei,ure so killing me! tell me, how can i not gain weight with those food right under my nose?!!!!!! heaven man!

so basically,what happend was,they didnt cook the bihun sup in our kitchen but instead they(mana n naddy) did it at syahrul's. according to mana, they cooked from like 10pm until 3am.. thats sooo sweet right?! i feel soooo touched of what they did. seriusly wei.

of all sacrifices/suprises/efforts that had been made for me for this yr's bday, what mana did was the most touching one, which really made me feel like crying but i didnt of cos. im a cool kyd,remember?haha. right,anyways, i suck at this whole thanking-ppl-and-expressing-how-touched-i-am thing. so u get the point right?

thanks a lot mana n i do (really3 do) appreciate evrything uve done weh. u really made my bday the best bday ever in uk! m soo glad we're frens. cliche right? but hey i mean it! its true that people tend to forget what you said, and they tend to forget what you did, but theyll never forget how you made them feel. point is,ill never forget this!

ok heres the best part! bday gifts presentation! hehehehhe!

this is like the worst bday gift ever! haha sorry ris. m being honest here. but well the thot of making me annoyed of these stupid emoticons is very much appreciated! haha! imagine the first thing in the morning when i woke up, i have to face this bunch of stupid emoticons! its a nightmare! haha. n the recording u made, thats sweet esp the geram tone inserted old mc donald song. hehe. thanks babe!=)

that nina ricci perfume ive always wanted to have is from my dearest bestfren, paqin. she posted it all the way from newcastle. thanks hunney! u knw i always love you,right?!! not only when u give me this perfume. all the time ok! hehe
that juicy couture perfume, another ive-always-wanted-to-have perfume is from my dearest good fren mana, she posted it all the way from her room. haha. thanks mana!! ive already said this for umpteen times but again for the last time YOU ARE AWESOME, GIRL!=)
n that i love PB(prison break!hahaha. kidding weh. its paul's boutique's) clutch/purse is from clarinda n steph! i din expect u guys wud even come for the bday suprise.but well u guys did n i feel loved! m glad to have you guys around! =)

next,
ok this thing is from the beloved family back in msia. what they did was, they ordered this thing from a gift shop in uk tru the internet, and then they delivered it to me yesterday.haha. u guys are cute ok!=) i knw this was your last resort but the thot of doing this,i swear its sweet! hehe

alright heres the best bday gift everrrrrrr:
aint this the coolest??!!! uber cool okay!! i swear this is the coolest thing ive ever got for my bday. haha. wait lemme think, yes this is the coolest one of all! trust me, ill keep myself updated on my weight status for like evry 2 hours!hahaha. oh i was too obsessed with this thing that i forget about the gift giver. haha. does such word even exist?well anyways, syhrul gave me this!omg ure incredibly awesome man!!!

ohh i had my dinner at adam's place, qied blanje! hehe. ure sweet, u know that?!!=) thanks babe! well, the conversation we had, keep it for life wei! LOL.

this good fren of mine made a special entry for me in her blog. again m touched. =)
-> http://najunajwa.blogspot.com/2010/01/nur-aimi-ishak.html
i dunno how the hell ppl make it to be click-able. but what the heck copy n paste isnt that troublesome right?!hehe

oh yes nuyerq's too. another special entry for me!! hers is privatised anyway.

last but not least, thanks for all the wishes, from texts, calls, skype to fb, i feel very much loved.=)

p/s- no p/s for this post cos u know pretty well y

sicken wth despair

2010-01-20T18:38:00.002Z

ever heard of this saying ''things happen when you least expect them to happen''? well, this pretty much explains my situation right now, things i expect to happen unfortunately is not gonna happen. i was hyped up for nothing. n dear friend,thats entirely my fault, not yours. n for the record, the thot that counts, cliche but true, i do appreciate those thots of yours. so dont feel sorry or guilty or whatever ure feeling now cos i dont blame you! hehe =)

did i say i wanted to rock simulink after i finished with the previous post, well guess what, i DID NOT. so wtv i said just now was merely a plain empty talk. haha. screw me.

p/s-i guess it ends here huh?

woebegone

2010-01-20T15:17:00.003Z

so heres the thing, that simulink thing is really turning my hair grey. 20% to go, thats long wayyy to go but the due date is tomorow. yes believe it or not,its tmrw. haha like anyone cares. so what have i been doing this whole day u ask? well let see, i finished my class at 1pm since its wed, i went straight home ( well, i lied, i dropped by at the omco to buy SNACKS->this thing dropping-by-omco-buying-snacks-when-i-was-on-my-way-back-home has been my routine lately! trust me,if this thing continues for another 1 month, my kidney is soo going to explode. imagine that!). right, back to the main point, then i watched nodame, i did half-spring cleaning cos i cant stand the scattered hair on the floor already. n now m multitasking (skyping with the very much missed parents and babling here,not literally of cos). so u get the picture now, n m done explaining. lets rock the simulink! yeah thats the spirit i want. blerghhhh.

p/s-i wish,i pray,i hope that IT is going to happen. but right now,at this very moment its impossible.

make the simple complicated or make the complicated simple?

2010-01-17T14:00:00.003Z

its sunday,the supposed to be relaxing day for me,but not anymore. the simulink assignment is driving me crazy. well,i do admit i deserve a serve-you-right-slap right on my face, (haha plis dont slap me) anywayy,i've been assigned to do this assignment since like 1.5 month ago?now is like what, less than a week to the submission due date? and i just started to attempt the first few parts of it. so tell me how is that not driving me crazy?

well yesterday i went to the AGM of the malaysian society(masoc) for the elections for the new commitees, i was nominated for the treasurer (well basically its not really nominated,i wanted to run for the post,so mana nominated me). n i won the vote. how awesome is that? heee.

mana naddy liz n the others were out yesterday, i was supposed to go, but i dint join them. y?cos of that stupid simulink assgment! i was stucked in my room wei while they were out eating sushi and watching movie.=( tell me how can i not be jealous of them?!

i now pronounce that this sem is the worst sem ever. whus with me? my fridays are not off anymore cos of the weekly group meetings we're gonna have for this sem. plus, the project we're doing is kinda hard and is not as interesting as the nanofluid project i wanted to do!=(

oh this sucks big time!

p/s-it has to be complicated for it to be fun,right?

after all,its just a fairy tale

2010-01-10T17:02:00.002Z

i promised nuyerq a raincheck today, cos i had to bail while we were in the middle of our YEARLY gossips exchange yesterday (yearly! look how frequent we get to talk). however, right at this moment when we're supposed to TALK,she's outside mamak-ing,can you beliv that? she chose mamak over me? what kind of girlfren is that? hahaha. kidding nuyerq, eventho u ditched me for mamak, i still do love you! hehe.

moving on,
i watched ajl, i expected bunkface to win the first place,but aizat won. thats just..not right. haha. well, i wasnt planning to watch ajl but after i woke up (around 12pm ish) i felt soo bored, i needed to get my ass out of the room, hence, i texted qied to go over to her place. qied tika and k.sarah were watching ajl when i reached their house,so that explains me watching ajl.
oh anyways, it was my luck theyve got the weighing scale, thus i checked my weight, its X minus freaking 2.3!! n m freaking hyped up!=)=) thats just awesome! hehehehhehehehe. i shall eat all the food i have now. obviously not. m not gonna ruin this. another 2.7 to lose! go imeyk!=)

on top of that, the lab reports are already finished. even so, i dont feel good about the lab reports, i feel like i just did it for the sake of getting it done. thats just not right. on the other hand, the simulink coursework that i shud have done or at lis had a look at it, is still untouched.
omg,my level of hardworkingness has been dropping lately. shud i be worrying?or shudnt? or maybe shudnt be worrying YET. ill get back to that later when the exams are nearing. thats better. right? hehe.

next,
qied suggested to me to partcipate in the cardiff european games this coming march. i mean netball laa not futsal,cos i dont do futsal. im definitely gonna play despite of having a history with the cardiff netball team during the last notts game. huhu. yeay! i get to play again, eventho i doubt we'll win any of the match. hahaha. but seriusly, m not kidding. truts me we werent that good. who says we're that good anyway? haha. prasan plak.

i miss the bestfrens back in msia. talking about them makes me miss them even more. how wei! =(

ingratiatory

2010-01-07T20:44:00.002Z

the lab reports' progress is freaking slow, major distractions are attacking me from every directions, havent touched simulink yet, it freaks me out knowing that the other classmates are almost done with it.

how can i sleep tightly with these things bothering the vulnerable mind?

p/s - im flattered.

temporary madness.

2010-01-03T08:12:00.005Z

its 8 am in the morning, done with my subuh, i wanted to sleep back but the air bed was shrinking, the air gets pumped out so it feels like sleeping on the floor after approximately 6 hours of sleeping on the bed. hence, this.

m back in birmingham now. my holiday doesnt end here though. ive still got bath as my final destination. haha. initially i wasnt supposed to go to bath as time left for me to get my lab reports done isnt exactly enough but wut the hell, lab reports can wait. right? lol. and one thing evryone deserves to know is that ive spent wayyyy more than i shud have. around 500 pounds? im now officially grounded! seriusly wei, what was i thinking! i hate myself for not being able to control my expenditure.

anywayy,its 2010 already. i survived 21 years of living, thats not bad. do i have any new year resolution u ask? hermm, ive got none for now. i cant think of any resolution except reducing my weight to X-5 (if you're one of my stalker, ull know what X indicates.haha,if ure not,its in the previous post,go figure it out! or u can just ignore this part)

my digestion system and eating system have gone haywired lately. my health isnt exactly at its best right now. i have no idea y.

i havent spoken with my parents for 3 wiks already. eh wait ive spoken to them yesterday but that was only a 10 mins skype cos i was in hurry so that doesnt count. the point is, i miss them badly. evryone's at home now, i mean all the siblings, its kinda sad knowing that m not at home right now.bummer.omg the homesick fever is attacking! i better get my mind off this. hence, wtyl.

p/s- dont say you like me unless you really mean it, because i might do something crazy like believe it.

the afterthoughts

2009-12-20T18:31:00.003Z

hello bitches n bastards,im back. hehe

its good to be back. ceyh,m not really back yet. its newcastle, the place m at currently,huhu,i told paqin that nwcstle is now officially my 2nd kampong. haha. believe it or not,an awesome week of winter break has just passed. u know when sumthing is awesome,ure always gonna miss it. n hence i am missing that awesome week. hehe, we went to aak's. we gave her a belated bday suprise. she was shocked as expected n kept saying y are yu guys so nice coming here all the way? not even a tq aak?haha.jk. i know she was blissed and touched and all those kind of feelings girls aways have. lol. but anyways,m glad she was happy.=) paqin n moff brought a homemade cake all the way from newcastle,i had to wake up at 6 to get to edinburgh on time(saje nak point out,at lis i did some sacrifices for aak ryt?).oh btw, evryone has the right to know that the cake was instant,not entirely home made.haha busted la paqin!=P

then, we went to glasgow for 3 days. stayed at elaine's. she was one hell of a good host,i tell ya. i feel guilty cos she had to sleep on the floor just to accomodate us. how sweet is that?! and another thing i wont forgive her for,is that she fed us like mad. i ate alot man. im getting fat. *no exaggerations intended here* n dun let me get into what aak fed us,n what the newcastle dudes are currently feeding me. sigh. nevertheless,i seriusly DO appreciate what they did/r doing to me. =)

i had this intention of wanting to do at lis half of the lab reports in newcastle BUT dream on weh,m soo not gonna do it even a quarter of it. trust me. the fact that im still in the holidays mood actually does contribute to the-not-gonna-do-it-statement. another 4 days in newcastle,then we'll b off to london. the next few stops for me will be birm-manchester-london-birm-bath-birm. hahaha. crazy ryt? then 5 days left for me to sit down and get the long reports done before the due date. crazier ryt?! sigh.

its 6+ already, imma try the skipping rope paqin just bought , take a shower n off to moffat's. sow,wtyl.=)

leg it.

2009-12-07T20:25:00.004Z

dear world,

-guess what matlab really sucks.
i flunked it.badly.oh fyi matlab,i worked my ass off the whole weekend.

-well after all matlab really does suck,so y bother right.

-anyway,friend,u pissed me off,u knw that?!
seriusly,nw?wrong timing weii.

-cut myself. what was i thinking!

all in all,today isnt exactly the best day of my life.

disturbed again

2009-12-03T21:11:00.002Z

when the fear of abandonment sabotages my feelings, im screwed.

its complicated.

gaga ulalaaaa

2009-11-27T15:44:00.005Z

eid's here!! i like this kind of event. when the food is a must and get together session is of cos a necessity, i feel v v v blissed!! plis let me have eid 8 times a year. twice a yr is definitely not enough. even so, happy eid to all muslims esp to my mum and dad n ma famille!!=)

last night we takbir together n cooked from 8pm until 2am. thats kinda long. but it was fun! singing,going crazy,n eating while cooking spell the word f.u.n. haha but dont do this at home. trust me its unhealthy!

nevertheless the fud turns up superbly nice!! like seriously i dun expect the fud to be that nice. ha ha.

oh menu of the day:
nasi impit
kuah kacang
rendang ayam
BIHUN SUP! yoshh. my all time fav fud!
nasi briyani

i was supposed to go for the semayang raya but woke up at 10am.
smyg raya gone, subuh also gone. sigh.what a way to start my raya day!

i had a nightmare. its extremely scary.

ive got lab today. haih,OF ALL DAYS, y must on the raya day??!! but anyways, it went well.

we're gonna go for another takbir n makan2 session at one of the girls' hse.
my flatmates are all excited to wear bj kurung tonight. hahahaha.

duirng the break,between the labs, i went to steph's, cos she's got the electrical weight scale. n i think its accurate. so i usually go there once a month just to keep track with my weight.

so the analysis of my weight is as below:

weight in february 2009 = X
weight in august 2009= X-1
weight in october 2009= X-0.2
weight in november 2009= X-0.4

i gain weight despite of the reduction of my fud consumption. it doesnt make sense at all!

however,
aim of the weight in january 2010= X-3

anddd yeah its totally impossible!

p/s-currently addicted to bad romance.

happy bday A.N.S hehe

2009-11-16T18:24:00.003Z

just had my legendary dinner. hahaha. its nasii.. wait for it.. goreng. yeah. lol.

was at uni from 9am till 4 ++

today was super tiring and tiring and tiring and endlessly tiring, did i say it was tiring tday? yes it was v v v tiring i feel like slapping,kicking and punching someone. any volunteer?

!pinch coursework-half way tru

!cadbury report-half way tru

!pro II report-almost done

3 days to the dateline. goshh.imma die out of busydome!

cant wait for this thurs

y?cos its the dateline of those courseworks anddddd im gonna watch new moon with mana, eri, naddy and alip. haha. midnight movie yosh!! its been a v v v long tym i havent gone for a midnight mvie. ill take that as my distress session. =)

oh3!! calling for ainul najwa saz! happy bday my dearest fren!! i miss you yawww! take care okaaayyy! =)=)=)

i loathe pro/II

2009-11-12T08:44:00.003Z

dear all,

pro/II sucks!

-u know the busy phase where uve got lotssssss of works to do yet little time? yes thats where i am right now. at this point i really cant wait for the winter break!ive got plans already!=)

-me n paqin, we've got this deal noone knows. she's nearing the finishing point n im nowhere but at the starting point! damn, that nasi ayam is indeed 'delicious' haha. craplah.

-1 hour away from going to class. mayn, the degree of my desire to go to classes has been dropping abruptly due to the augmenting coldness the weather gets lately!

-watched gossip girl this week's episode. omg! threesome is soo WRONG!! they are nuts!

-wacthed oth this week's epi. i miss p. swayer! i know b.davis does too =(

-oh3. robin sherbatsky n lily are pregnant in himym s4! i mean real life pregnant! haha they really cudnt hide it. its obvious!

- lol.i really dont seem to be doing the works,do i?

russian roulette

2009-11-07T08:50:00.005Z

ive been ditching the blog for so long already.cannot tahan already. hehe.
well,typical excuse,i was busy,i was running out of time,din get the time to blog blah3.
the thing is,i havnt much to tell the world (yeah right). seriously,my life isnt as interesting as ive always expected it to be. bummer right! wanna swap,anyone? haha

alot of things goin on this past few weeks, so bare with me!

early october, i went to Newcastle for 4 days to see paqin. she's been doing great over there, at one point i felt like applying the exchange student thing and get transferred to newcaslte. how awesome is that?!! but unfortunately i knew i wudnt be able to do that. dream on babehh. sigh.

a few weeks after that, galak came here for like 5 days. she was in the middle of something n id say,she needed to be away from her normal life. hehe. so the best resolution was me. =) she bought i pod touch (jeles!!) and a better version speaker (jeles!!). haha.

end of october, i went to notts for the malaysian's game. it was great, really. despite of losing, hehe (as expected) but not bad what for a beginner, we won 2 games out of 6 ok. haha. im in denial. well,at least i had fun. it was, how do i say this, refreshing, yes, refreshing to see a lot of malaysians scattering evrywhere. and they said theyve got lots of mlysian food at the booth like nasi ayam,nasi lemak,SATAY,cendol,rojak,nasi kerabu etc, which i only got to eat nasi tomato, cos we finished our games pretty late that day. very depressing and disappointg ok!=( oh i din mention about me playing netbal,did i? well, i played netball for this yr's notts games,after 3 years of not playing, it was awesome i tell yah!!! but what happend the next day was, i had muscle pain on my entire body,i cudnt even move, haha, exaggerate! the move part yes i did exaggerate on that, but the former part is true ok.

all in all,i felt pretty much like in malaysia that day. not cos of the fud since i din get to eat evrytg but the environment. huhu.

yesterday, i received a letter from a friend of mine!!!=) =) i was so hyped up that i fell off the chair again. ehhe, i miss you lahhh!=) a reply letter from me is on the way!=)

once, i had this thought that suprise me myself, i was thinking of not going back during this summer, i know right!! i was soo out of my mind. heh. but my mum clearly doesnt agree with this,hence, not going back this summer is definitely not a wise decision. another thing that suprised me is the fact that im not homesick at all right now. i guess i do grow up huh? haha. im tougher now. yosh!=S

currently, ive got two courseworks on hold. haha, by right,i shudve started doing the works but knwing the procrastinating me,i havent and the due date is like 2 weeks away from now. gosh, what am i doing?really. oh wait, i know what ive been doing, its watching gg,oth,himym,desper8 hsewives,greek,n.k and the list goes on. sigh

time's flying unbelievably fast this time, its already week 7, n ive got another 5 weeks to complete the fers sem of my 2nd yr. n then, wnter break!! i havnt got any plans yet for the break but one thing for sure, m not gonna stay in birm! huhu

anyhu,my current things to buy list--> ipod touch! hehe. im gonna gv my ipod nano to along. ishkk, m gonna miss you nano! =( behave ok when ure with along. haha. i sound mentally disturbed, dont i? lol. oh yes i want the fluffy boots i tried that day. itll be for my winter boots. m pretty excited for this for god knows y. hehe.

so,this pretty much summarises what happend during my hiatus. wtyl! au revoir!=)

p/s-russian roulette by rihanna is awesome=)

private getaway

2009-10-02T13:52:00.002+01:00

hello there, havent wrote in here for quite some time. m still in the jetlag period where your sleeping pattern has gone completely haywired, oh yes thats what happen to me right now, in fact i have that additional making-my-life-bored-factor which is missing the loved ones and the fuds of course. i still remember n wil always remember that the last food i ate before i took off is bihun sup. damn sedap wei! the best bihun sup ive ever tasted after my mum's (kena amek hati ni). and i cant believe i only went to two open hses for this year's raya which is sooo unfair.

my first day of school or id rather say first day of uni gave me a bad impression of the 2nd yr. haha. i went to the wrong venue n reached the lecture hall 20 minutes late, decided not to go in n went off bcus i was a chicken. tho most of my classmates saw me thru the big damn glasses! what a way to start the year.

wel godbye 1st year and welcome to my life 2nd year! im pretty un-excited at this point! ive never been this un-excited. well gud thing is, this yr's timetable is much less pack than last year's time table. most of my fridays are off except the week where we have labs. and based on my sources, we're only gonna have labs twice the whole year. thats awesome=)

the room ive got this year is pretty much the same as last year's except its prettier and tidier. haha. ive watched one tree hill up to the 3rd epi of the latest season. mayn, i miss their high school dramas. they were alot more fun than now. anyway,heard that peyton and lucas are not gonna be in this season, i dont know wether its true or not, but if it is, bummer, i want them in tree hill!=(

au revoir~~

ohh i love my dad v2 much

2009-09-18T03:11:00.003+01:00

ok so its abah's turn now. my parents have their birthdays in the same month, how sweet is that? however, it makes us or atleast me, pokai every september. how sad is that? haha.

happy bdayyy my bestest guyfren!! we had a fight yesterday, not really fight but we're supposed not to be in the talking terms, but i gave in,cos its ur bday. look how cool ur daughter is! hehe. i love you no matter what, even u once told me ''jaga sekandang lembu lg senang than jaga sorg anak perempuan'' how dare u comparing me to cows?!, even u never allow me to go out at night, even u never allow me to drive alone at night even u always kutuk me that im fat, even we always berebot to watch astro ( u n tennis will never be apart! i hate tennis ), even u always keneng2 me with ustaz, even banyaklahh! despite of all the evens, i still love you n will alwayysss!!

will abruptly stop here, intended to bable more about my dad but i need to go now. asri dah membebel. we're going to klcc to buy abah's gift tday. chow!

tday's my mom's bday=)

2009-09-07T02:49:00.002+01:00

happy bday my bestest buddy! =)
bought u a gift. hope you like it.
i wud never be here if it wasnt for you.
i love you mak! always!

*its been awhile. haih,so, quick updates :

-galak's flying off this sunday. paqin n moffat pon but on nx tues.
-zati dah fly. missing her badly. my klcc gang.
-19 days to go. super malas! cant wait for nx yr's summer break. ahahah.
-had a ride with chepol to w.maju yesterday. yeayy. at lasst naek her neo!
-our 18th sept plan is ruined.=( too bad.
-some ppl are just too cheap that its embarrasing as hell.
-i feel neglected and not appreciated by a fren.

willy wonka!

2009-08-21T06:55:00.000+01:00

ramadhan is already here. well, m excited! =)

highlights of the week:

% cut my hair short. VERY short. asri sed i luk like willy wonka in the choc factory movie. like seriously,thats insulting! let alone angah who never gives this sad-fat-short-hair girl even a bit of self confidence. nicee.

% monday, went to the imigration office to renew my passport. its gonna end soon. saw a guy whom i think he's my exskulmate but ignored him when he made this i-know-u look cos i wasnt that sure. m a bad fren. i knw.

% tuesday, had a fight with the maid. its like my routine already, sigh.

% wed, i spent a day with nuyerq at s.alam. hung out with the other girls again. haha, it was awesomeeee. still wishing for the uni transfer. hehe.

% thursday, went out with zi, watched 2 movies in a day. up wasnt as good as i expected it to be, while i love you,beth cooper was greatt as expected. haha. met dyra n her frens and also a guy whom i think he's my cousin's husband but again wasnt that sure too,hence,din even talk to him. haha. im a bad cousin. i knw.

% friday wic is tday, planning to go to klcc again to watch g.i joe,probably with asri. but i wil have to wait for his class to finish fers. after the mvie which most probably will finish at 6pm, i will have to go to putrajaya, cos abah wants me to accompany him to fetch along. thats the plan for tday! heh.

% someone said somthg that boost up my not-so-high confidence level. hehe. tq! =)

% along came back today. great. the more the merrier. haha. *copy paste* evryone's at home for the fers time after 4 years! it sounds fun.

tmrw puasa. yeayy! =) =) lets not skip the terawikh. hehehe.

ihateher

2009-08-11T06:55:00.002+01:00

ohmygod. i seriusly abhor the maid, she's rude, she has no manners, shes childish,shes sux in doing chores. she pulls faces off whenever i ask her to do stuffs. when i get angry n tell her not to do this n that, she'll never listen.all in all, i hate her. ive never hated this much to any of the previous maids. well,congratulations, ure the 1st. gth.

but we have no choice, cos if mak fire her, itll be damn hard to hire another one. n we'll be maidless for at least a month b4 getting another 1. n by being maidless, based on the previous experiences,we wont survive. its sux that i have to face her evry freaking day. this is y i hate staying at home when my parents are nt around. sigh

anywayy,evrybodys gonna sleep at the living room tonight cos the contractor has to do smtg with the floor upstairs and it takes a day to get it dry. yeay, ive been wanting to sleep on the couch since forever. at last, my dream comes true. m getting excited for this. haha.

went to midval yesterday, bought sport shoes/sneakers, n stuffs--mostly the things i need to get to bring to uk. ive to get all the things now,cos i dun think we'll go out during the fasting month n then raya, n taraaa going back to uk already. time is seriusly flying too fast that i cudnt catch up. haihh.

angah came back today. good. the more the merrier.

chicken rice

2009-08-07T13:41:00.005+01:00

a fren of mine whom i wasnt that close to her back in skul just left us due to pneumonia (according to my frens). i was shocked and it was too sudden. =( may she rest in peace.

on the day she passed away, i got goosebumps. i was really afraid that it wud happen to me instead. i was scared that i will never get the chance to say sorry to those ive wronged, that ive done alot of sins, and that i will never get to repent all the sins. this made me think that we can die whenever, and wherever, Allah wants us to.

however, life must goes on.

today,i was supposed to go to midval but the lil brother askd me to fetch him, hence, the plan was canceled. bummer.

it has been a week i havent eaten sushi n chckn rice klcc. it feels like a year. haha. miss the fuds already.

i wanna buy the osim slimming thing. mak promised to give me 300 cos i helped her fixing the ''damage'' she caused on the computer. hahaha. the screen was upside down cause she mistakenly pressed smtg on the keyboard. ive never seen/heard such thing b4. lol.

ive finished bof in 3 days n it was awesome. the fers impression it got me wasnt that good but kim hyun joong is super duper hot n cute! cant get his face off my head. man, m screwed.

spent the fers two days of the week at s.alam. i had a lot of fun with my girls which made me think how amazing it wud be if i get to transfer to uitm s.alam. haha. dream on...

on the other world of mine, m praying hard that dbsk wont b disbanded. kwn2,lets pray~

gotta scoot.. dinner time~

comeback

2009-07-17T10:51:00.005+01:00

yoo

after a month of silence ( wuu thats a pretty long silence ive ever been in ), im back! heh.

herm sadly speaking i only have 2 months left for my summer break. the fers month of my summer break was wayy cooler than ive ever thot. starting from the uk-paris trip with my family, a week in msia (where i went out evryday, not a single day at home), a 2 wiks awesome holiday in NZ, till 2 days in a row goin to klcc after getting back from nz. this is freaking awesome. i love summer break! whu doesnt, ryt?

results were out almost a month ago. its up to my satisfaction. worth all of the ''hard'' works. ha ha. yeah ryt hard works.

im gonna summarize what ive done n where ive been to this fers 1 month of my summer break. so bear with it gangg.

uk trip with my family was really great. asri spent a lot, like noones busines. let alone abah whu bought 3 tenis rackets, 1 suit, 2 clark shoes, 1 sport shoes, 1 track bott, wimbledon tennis ball n roland garros tennis ball. hahaha. n seriuslyy, he was 1 hell of a big shopper when he was in uk. that amazed me cos he was never a big shopper in msia. we went to paris for 3 days. n they wanted to eat nasi, how on earth cud we get nasi in paris? ha ha. funny cos they ate nasi like mad when we reachd liverpool after getting back from paris. alot of good things happend n m glad they had fun. =)

in only a week in msia, ive already been to time square, mid val, low yat, klcc, pavillion. god bles me. *shaking owns head* n bought two jeans in a week. m now officially having the jeans fasting operation. i need supports on this. ris take note. hehe.

off to nz for 2 wiks. fers 2 days in nz was aweful i tell ya. my legs were cramped. the involuntary muscular contraction was painful. i cant even walk properly. at that time my walking speed was 2 cm/s. ok thats an unintentional exaggeration. no,,more like sarcasm. ok wtv. unfortunately i got fever. my body temperature was high. it freaked me out cos i thot it was h1n1. atiq izi n along were trying really hard convincing me that its just a normal fever. the remaing days in nz was seriusly amazing u cant even imagine. ha ha. i shopped winter clothings over there, spent a lot on foods too. the gurls eat alot! haha. hate to admit this but thnx to along whu was being 1 hell of a good brother of mine when i was there. thanx to atiq whu gave me a great room to stay n was being a really2 gud host. izi dyg n ina, i really had fun with u guys n now i misss u guys alreadyyy. let alone the jokes. esp izi's. ha ha. meow la gersang la..hahaha. izi..izi.. n izi wrote me a letter in her blog. shes sweet, aint she? wel anyways.id love to go to nz again one sweet day. hehe. bile la tu. in 10 yrs tyme kot if ade duet. sigh.

yesterday went to klcc with ris L n mana. it was supposed to be our longkang gath but there was las minute change of plan due to some problem. we din even go to longkang. najuk n sya cudnt come. m sure itll be more fun if they cud come. we watched hp. it was kinda lengthy ( i yawned twice which made mana staring at me for 2 secs with her mouth opend) but i guess i still like it. hehe. oh not to forget, i ate alot too. haih. waffles, popcorn n all time favourite chicken rice. adoi.

again today i went to klcc. met kay gile, paqin n zaty. ate sushi n laksa shack n gelato fruity. hehe. kay curik chopstick! spottd a cute guy at the foodcourt, saw fauziah gaos (in case if ure wondering whu she is-shes an actress)- kay n i were stalking her at the escalator haha. kay ni buat malu je. met a lotttt of kay's hairmate too. ha ha! paqin just got back from her btn, n of cos the feedback wasnt that gud, whu enjoys btn anyway? definitely noone. but paqin's batch were lucky cos they din have to get into paya n all which i found veryy unfairr! pakck nasi grg da gemok! hehe. no offence paqin. zaty with her problem which i think i was the one whu cause it n im freaking guilty for what has happend. sorry=( all in all, i miss the girls alreadyyyy.

the end of the 1st month of the summer break. i have 2 more months not studying. m gonna have all the funs i cud ever have. my life is great now. plis dun spoil it. =)

i love my life.

i aint seen nothing better

2009-06-02T21:27:00.005+01:00

aint he the prettiest creature on the planet??!!!
*drool*

so u can tell, my exams are over.. like seriusly over! it feels goooodddddd=) we sorta had our after examinations celebration. right after exams, we went to wagamama n i had yaki soba. it was ok, not too bad not too good either. however,it did make me full.

screw msian halls. they rejected my submission to stay there the day b4 my flight. ergh. i dunno already. n i hate the fact that i have to start planning things now. well at least the gud thing is my parents are coming in 1 week time! =D=D=D

i was thinking wether i shud throw all the notes or keep em for next yr. hidzuan said just throw em off, if u need em next yr, webct is always 1 click awayyy. soooo, i might just throw all of em (except matlab ofcos). ohhh. this feels goodd. packing things and moving stuffs! =) it reminds me of how soon ill be at home. home sweet home=)

random facts: copycats have no originality. plagiarism is an offence.

*erk..this came out of nowhere*

friggginggg agitated

2009-05-31T19:01:00.004+01:00

the day after tmrw, m gonna have to sit for 2 papers which are both chemistry & biology related.

then,1600 hours (GMT + 1:00) 02 06 2009--> total freedom. awesomeness.

meanwhile, it scares the hell out of me. having to sit for those papers. m gonna tank em. trust me, i will.

edie britt amazed me.

2009-05-26T08:35:00.002+01:00

quote:

''i died JUST the way i lived, as the centre of attraction'' -edie britt, desperate hsewives, s5.

haha.i simply cant accept those words coming out from her mouth b4 she died. haha, typical edie, self centred she is. well2, the last episode of this season shows all the climax and it makes me crazy to have to wait untill august (if m not mistaken) for the next season. oscw! oh myyy, lynette got pregnant AGAIN, n wanted to abort, what will happen to mike n susan, as i sed they are soo blong tgther.bree n karl?

on the other hand, i have this ultimate wish to share. if ever, tohoshinki n kattun are having a co-concert, that would be super coooll! im soooo in, babe!! shutttttt aint that coooll??!! but then again its my ultimate wish, which the probability for it to happen is like 0.00001 %. sigh.=(

oh yes. ive been longing to have this secret code tshirt, but m still indecisive on wether i should buy it or is it worth buying or bla3, all those usual thots appear. i hate being indecisive. it makes my life more complicated than it already has.

my parents just got back from bandung last night. and and and they are coming in two weeks time, aint that great! oscw.

i havent touch my books for 3 days already n i think its gonna be this way until 3 days before exams. lazy i am. i soo need the anti-lazyness pills.

ohhh so cant sleep

2009-05-23T10:29:00.004+01:00

ok so i slept at 3 after subuh prayer with the intention of wanting to have a verryyy long nice sleep (without the use of alarm clock). i wanted to sleep as long as i could (which normally my long sleep is like 12 hours). hence,i expected by the time i wake up, ill be like ''shuuuuttttt its already 2pm!!".. u know what really happend? i woke up at 7am!!! wut the heckkkk..! i then forcd myslef to sleep. n ended up waking up at 9am. sigh. this is what happen when u sleep for 5-6 hours and wake up at 7 evryday. lesson learnt-changing ur sleeping pattern might take days ppl.

wel anyway.. m still not done with exams. haha. i sounded like one didnt i? 2 papers to go. which will be like 10 days from now,,what do u expect? of cos we declared ourselves to be sooo done with exams. haha. sigh. kids nowadays*shake own's head*.

oh3. pam (prop & applcation materials) yesterday was too horible to the extend that i dun feel like talking bout it now, got it? of cos u dun.

hermm..ive been putting the battlefield song by J.S on repeat mode since yesterday. u know there are some songs that u wont get sick of even if u listen to it for umpteen times. battlefield is one them. and, speaking of wic, halo by bethany joy is also one of them.

its a month away from having funn n meeting my long lost frens n family. hahaha. long lost?wth~ i cant wait laaaa. ive been imagining what im gonna do n what m gonna eat especially.

so things to do these 10 days~~

1. spring cleaning *like serius spring*
2. laundry *my laundry basket luks like a mountain already*
3. plan for NZ trip
4. online shopping for things i need b4 going back.
5. decide on the secret code tshirt.
6. plan for my parents coming here trip.
7. buy bus/train tix to london
8. download movies dramas tv shows
9. buy dvd *to burn the dramas*

chooo many things to do.

gotta scoottt. choww ppl.

yosh

2009-05-23T10:23:00.003+01:00

friendship award for 2009

nahh tenoq aku bg kau sorg je. hahaha. =)

taggd by tenoqs

bluerghh

2009-05-14T19:07:00.004+01:00

yowww.

it took me 2 weeks to update my blog. well it makes sense cos ive got exams and tday was the fers day of exam. my fers exam in uni yoow!

anyway..ive just finished mct (modelling concept tools) and ecs (electrical comp system) papers tday. 4 more to go. thats the bright side.

the other not so bright side,,herm..let me see..mct? ok laaa.. i wrote 2 questions for 10 pages, thats quite a lot. n i felt like my hands were gonna break. next, ecs? three words, I TANKED IT. period.

wait. m not finished yet. ignore the period. haha. whats worse is that they use negative marking! i abhor negative marking! 4 evry wrong answer ull get negative marks. sigh. give me a break already! ergh.

*stress mode*

off to watch some funneeyyy vids. destress session. choww.

seriously??

2009-04-28T10:23:00.003+01:00

yeayyy.cbp essay submitted.=)

me: erm this is for cbp. *handing over the essay*
the reception guy : yea. uve got that cbp look on your face.
me: haha. how can u tell?
the recpetion guy : i can tell. im a psychic
me: aahh.no wonder.LOL.

cbp look??hows that??haha
**cbp -- chemical & biochemical process.

one submitted, one left undone. sigh.

ive got another 2 weeks b4 finals.n that scares me to death.
not even a single minute of revision??sigh

on a more fun note: just finished downloading boys over flowers,dun worry, m not gonna watch it now. gonna watch it with my mum this summer.haha. oh so cant wait.

chows.

cessation

2009-04-21T12:42:00.004+01:00

assigmnt status = on hold for 2 hours already. when laa can complete if like this one.sigh.
mood=hungry
fb status=bubaq is annoyed cos of me=)

in the midst of doing my FAVOURITE styrene assigment, a fren of mine told me that her fren just got hit by a car. her fren is a fren of mine too anyway. it wasnt a serious accident, but the fact that she was unconcious, silently crying out of the pain, bleeding and bruises on the face is more than enough to make me realize something. you know, while imagining the incident, it hit me, heck, i am lucky yet hv never been grateful . as far as i remember, ive never been in any kind of serious accidents before. falling off the chair when i was alone in the room is the most recent accident, but no injuries at all, my finger swelled up n it gets better in 2 3 days after that, thats it. wait. this is embarassing. this part isnt supposd to be revealed to evryone but heck screw me. dun even wonder how on earth cud i fall off the chair, with no wind, no cyclone (buruk ah translate.takde angin takde ribut).cos i myself hv no idea. haha. and and and ive been pretty much in a good health. no serious illness until now. *exception for my lazyness disease.* apart from that, null. despite of being lucky, ive been so ungrateful evry second, ''aaah!pimple!'' ''aaah!im fat!'' ''aahh!im ugly!'' ''aahh!im stupid!''. so, now lets put an imidiate halt to those ungratefulness. huhu. i know this is hard. no harm trying. lets3.

the bottomline is i have to be damn grateful for who i am and evrythg i have. who knows what will happen tmrw right or even next 3 seconds. i might fall off the chair again. haha. teasing your ownself is crazy. i know. dun do dis at home.hermm.this is th muhasabah of the day=)

p/s- lets pray for my fren. shes gonna be fine. InsyaAllah~

double p/s- oh3.this is a kinda serious post and thus m not supposd to write this here butttt i cant keep this anymore,,ive got a new bf..jeng3.changmin!!yur hotnessssssss is totally irresistible=)=)=) m so dead.hoho.

insight from the inside

2009-04-14T10:30:00.003+01:00

heyloo worlddd.

i believe spilling my thoughts out is whats best now.

u know,looking at the outside of me,i seem happy. by just a glance at me,u know im having a great time right now, doing things that anyone in distress would want to do. this past few months ive been living one hell of a good life, most of the time, there was no sleep deprivation, ive been eating whenever i want, watching whatever i want to, spacing up for god knows how long it takes, enjoying myself like noone's busines.

truth is,m scared.m scared of the real world,like really real world. m scared of evrything that i will have to face in the future. i always wonder whats it gonna be like in the future. what will happen to those i love the most, what will happen to me, the deeper i think about it, the more scared i get. this is where ppl always say just follow the flow. but along the flow, i always get distracted, and at times,im left out and i cudnt catch up. its vv hard. big sigh. things always get complicated. dun blame things. im making them complicated. right?

uish,deep,deep.

no kidding. this is what ive been thinking of lately.

m geting weirder and weirder as days pass by. whats with me.

on the other hand, i need to boost up my confidence level. lately, its diminished abruptly for idk-wth-the-reasons-are.

fuhh.ultimately weird.bye world.=)

bosan kambeng

2009-04-06T04:34:00.005+01:00

its 4.30am in the morning.slept at 9pm woke up at 1am.now my sleeping pattern is weird.

m bored as hell.no movie to watch.there's one still downloading.its 99.5% dwldg.5 minutes remaining.torrent lembabs kambeng.

najuk already went to her class.
ris is cooking her dinner
L is sleeping.still.

no one to talk to right now.

so,last resort-blog.haha

paris was superb=)i like it.really.the trip was terrific.bullied L a lot.thats the fun part.the not-so-fun part,i was forced to get on the thrill rides. the idea of me getting on the thrill rides was totally insane! i will never ever let my butt touch those rides again.never will.haha.

went for ice skating just now and conventry road.ate chicken kofta with rice.it wass really3 nice wei.

tday gg to city centre to watch movie n do a mild shopping.eheh,u have no idea how bored i am ryt now.

galaks' probably coming here dis sept. i mean london. she's doing tessel.
paqin's probably coming as well.either scotland or newcastle.i hope newcastle.cos its much nearer.hehe
najuk is applying for *tut*.

waaaaaaaaaaa.cant wait.cant wait.cant wait.cant wait.seriously i canNOT wait.

hehe.ok finish downloading.movie tyme.ditch blog.eheh.au revoir.

when you lead, i will follow=)

2009-03-27T08:49:00.003Z

its spring break alreadyy.wow.time really flies this fast??im amazed. m gonna have a 1 month break,then study leave for 2 weeks i guess,then there you go,,finals! tho its called as a BREAK,,weve still got 2 assigmnts to do,,super sigh.sohhh,,tmrw m gg to paris, the most beautiful city in the world,*according to rory gilmore* hehe. the weird part is that i din get the excitement at all,,only until mlat told me she's gonna meet me there.huhu~

current to buy list~
-boots
-jeans
-coat
-uni's zipped hoody
-pj

how i wish,theyll turn up in front of my room when i get up in the morning.

a lot of things to do tdayy.laundry,cleaning,aldi,packing bla3..
gotta scoot.chows=)

sleepyhead'stypingcraps.

2009-03-20T22:14:00.003Z

tday is kinda different.

7am - woke up.bfast while watching gilmore girls.
9am - room sprint cleaning.
11am - went to ecs 2 hours tutorial.
12am - get bored.sneaked out 1 hour earlier,went back.n watchd gilmore again.skyped wif my parents.
3pm - skippd matlab consultation.mana came to my place.our koko day,yeah! do mct coursework.
5.30pm - had dinner at dixy (the new halal fast food outlet near my place) with mana n syhrul.
6.40pm - went to aldi to grab ice creams for tday's koko..suddenly,,it hit me.''shit.xsmyg asar lg!'' duhhhhh.miss asar.bummer.(grabd pudding too.hehe.n muffins.)
7pm - smyg.continue matlab-ing.
8pm - spa q-ing.
9.40pm - out of sudden,halfway tru the spa q-ing, mana get herself on the bed.''aku dgr wei aku dgr''while getting herself comfortable on the bed.haha.yelatu.meanwhile,i took my shower n isyak since she's already sleeping.
10.15pm - finishd taking bath n wake mana up.''5 mnts wei'' haha.so i ended up blogging here.tday's koko is definitely different than previous koko.y?cos we din even finish all 4 epis we're supposed to watch.haha.

**koko day--its usually on friday night,the night we're having fun watching spa-q n rempit vs impak maksima,n some kattun slots. we spent most of the time criticising spa-q casts and the storyline, scripts bla3.haha.

je screwed up tadi.

2009-03-18T14:24:00.002Z

haha.3 in 1.bahase rojak.

3 tests 1 coursework in less than 2 wiks tym. GREATTTT.

french listening test sucked big tym. GREATTTT.

kwn2,shoot me.

i feel terrible

2009-03-12T13:07:00.003Z

hermmmmmm.

its kinda sux when sombody you really care is upset & really needs comforts,,but u cant be there for him.im no good in comforting ppl,but at some point i know he needs me.*sigh*i feel awfully useless.oh boyy,,i really dunno what to do,let alone,what to say..
=(

my buddy was born exactly 20 yrs ago from now=)

2009-03-04T19:35:00.002Z

its aapa's bday tday n yet i have to do this damn assignment cos we'll be having a grup meeting tmrw, god knows what are we gonna discuss on. i wanna write a bday entry for aapa n god knows how muchh work ive to do right now.*sigh* damn,,i miss that lil bestest fren of mine. =(=(=(

happy bdayyy aapaa..may Allah bless youu.tc n dun get hurt.i mean it.=)

did i mention that i hate thursdays??god knows how pack my thursday is.

anyway,m writing a list of works m gonna have to do this month(just for 'fun')-education wise :

-styrene assignment
-fth test
-cbp essay
-energy balance assignment
-mct assignment
-mathlab test

*sigh*god knows how desperate i am to have a lil short breakkkkkk!

wait whats wif the 'god knows how' evrywer huh??

........

tagged by mai.

2009-03-02T09:27:00.006Z

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.. You have to tag a minimum of 3 person afterwards... If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you!

1.i cant wait for 9th march to come.oth,gg,and desperate hsewives nx epi are gonna be aired back after a month of silence.haih.
2.i cant wait for 12th march to come.its the dateline of the styrene project.
3.i cant wait to skype with atiq.she sed she'll get the internet access in 2 wiks time.
4.i cant wait to go back to msia.4 months to go.
5.i hate waiting as a matter of fact.n yet my waiting list is very long.
6.i made a cupcakes deal with ris.
7.i made a road trip deal with nuyerq
8.im planning to go to NZ during this summer.
9.i feel hungry evry second.
10.i hate being interrupted when im sleeping.
11.i skype with my parents evry day.
12.i eat like a man now.cos m hungry as hell.
13.i dun put my jeans in the washing machine.i wash em myself.unbelievable,i know..!
14.i have a confession to make.but m finding the right victim to spill.
15.najuk just told me sumtg hilarious and ermmm disgusting.hahaha.abes ah ko juk.=P
16.i miss going shopping with my frens n my mum.
17.i only have 1 winter coat.been wanting to buy another 1 since forever.
18.i hate cats.
19.i need a toaster.
20.i suck at cooking.evryone knows that.
21.im not a morning person,,neither a night person.haha.that makes me a day person.haha
22.i love jeans.
23.i never experience moving to another place/house. the house m staying now is the same house when i was born. n we're probably gonna move in 2 yrs time. cheers!=)
24.najuk n ris used to tell me that m predictable. i guess theyre right.
25.im gonna stay in jarrat hall nx yr with mana.the end of the dying-of-boredom-days.

tagged in this post:
-paqin
-ris
-mana
-zati (haha tho ko takde blog)

styrene menjerit.hoho

2009-02-23T21:43:00.004Z

Clarinda Wong says: sigh..
Clarinda Wong says: just starting to find info
Clarinda Wong says: for the styrene
Clarinda Wong says: can't find
Nur aimi ishak says: waaaa
Nur aimi ishak says: u alreadyyy started
Clarinda Wong says: just started
Clarinda Wong says: no progress
Clarinda Wong says: at all
Nur aimi ishak says: i havent start on anytg
Clarinda Wong says: ARGH!!
Clarinda Wong says: cos my grp has meeting this thursday
Nur aimi ishak says: hahaha
Clarinda Wong says: we'll supposed to have info by then
Nur aimi ishak says: ours also
Nur aimi ishak says: same2
Clarinda Wong says: and i have made no progress
Nur aimi ishak says: im supposd to have infos by this thursday
Clarinda Wong says: haha
Clarinda Wong says: same boat
Nur aimi ishak says: yet i havnt done anytg
Nur aimi ishak says: hahahaha
Nur aimi ishak says: no
Nur aimi ishak says: u already started
Clarinda Wong says: u have went to the library
Nur aimi ishak says: im the last boat
Clarinda Wong says: tt's sth
Nur aimi ishak says: hahaha
Nur aimi ishak says: i din get the book
Clarinda Wong says: y leh??
Nur aimi ishak says: idk
Nur aimi ishak says: cudnt find
Clarinda Wong says: oh..
Nur aimi ishak says: the book wasnt on the shelf
Nur aimi ishak says: probably lost
Clarinda Wong says: is it??
Nur aimi ishak says: yaaa
Clarinda Wong says: din u ask 4 help?
Nur aimi ishak says: no
Nur aimi ishak says: haha
Nur aimi ishak says: will they?
Clarinda Wong says: stupid styrene and hazard study
Nur aimi ishak says: hahahaha
Clarinda Wong says: causing me so much agony
Clarinda Wong says: :(
Nur aimi ishak says: yaaaaaa
Nur aimi ishak says: causing me worryg
Nur aimi ishak says: all the time
Nur aimi ishak says: n cant watch my boyfren in one tree hill
Clarinda Wong says: haha..
Nur aimi ishak says: hahah
Clarinda Wong says: but u can dream of him when u're sleeping
Nur aimi ishak says: ahhaha
Nur aimi ishak says: i never dream about him
Clarinda Wong says: still not too bad
Clarinda Wong says: haha
Nur aimi ishak says: but i wanted soo bad
Nur aimi ishak says: haih
Clarinda Wong says: try harder
Nur aimi ishak says: hahaha
Nur aimi ishak says: can we force our dream??
Clarinda Wong says: maybe posting his pictures ard ur room will aid
Nur aimi ishak says: how to try harder
Nur aimi ishak says: i put his pictures evrywer already
Clarinda Wong says: stare at his photo daily..haha..
Nur aimi ishak says: on the cupboard
Nur aimi ishak says: my file
Nur aimi ishak says: hahahahahha
Clarinda Wong says: mmm..
Clarinda Wong says: means uu're not fated to have him as ur bf
Clarinda Wong says: hahaha
Clarinda Wong says: :)
Nur aimi ishak says: hahahahha
Nur aimi ishak says: thats so sad
Nur aimi ishak says: no2
Nur aimi ishak says: i bliv in our fate
Nur aimi ishak says: hahahahaha
Clarinda Wong says: haha..
Nur aimi ishak says: enuf with the crapp
Clarinda Wong says: just joking lah..

hahaha.skyped with clarinda earlier on.just wanna point some issues out~~

1-styrene fever is starting over again.n this time its even worse.hazard study suxx.
2-weve got group meeting this thursday n i havnt even start on the research yet.planning to do it on wednesday.
3-how can i force myself to have a particular dream with the particular person in it??i usually have boring n lame dreams which i always wake up disappointingly n then continue sleeping dreamlessly.this sux too.

oh.oh.oh.im lazy as hell lately.how can i deal with it?thers no way i can...=(

abrupt fullstop.

burnt lah weh!

2009-02-10T20:25:00.003Z

im like a pregnant woman now.wait.trust me,im not pregnant.haha.

cos,

i want

- karipap
- pisang grg
- cekodok
- rojak
- nasi lemak
- laksa
- bihun sup
- chicken rice klcc
- sushi*crab*

- petai msk cili api (haha kidding of cos)

whats worse is that i have to wait for like another 5 months.*sigh*

hey btw!first time ever i tried the maggi spice ayam masak merah.and well,as expected the chickens were badly burnt and sumtg wrong with the sauce cos idk.what i know is sumtg wrong with it.haha.i suck,u know dat?haihhhh!im seriusly demoralised by the burnt chickens.=(

.......

2009-02-08T08:18:00.001Z

short notice.

nuyerq i nak buat special post for youuu..but really time is running out*dedicate muse's*
hehe.nways the thot that counts.so happy bday dear.tc always.luv yah to bits.muahs.sumpah cant wait to c you dis summer!!n online skype plis!!

the unforgivable mistake

2009-02-04T13:23:00.002Z

being careless AGAIN, i mean AGAIN is sooo not forgivable..!
i left my memory stick again at the cluster last monday..the same memory stick ive lost once before.dammit.n now its gone.damn you memory stick thief!!urghhhh!

flattered laaa

2009-01-26T19:31:00.003Z

heyy ppl...

hermm juss so you know yesterday was my bday n m still 19.mind you.haha.
ok so specially thanx to mana whu desperately needs a lot of improvements on the organizing-suprise-skills for ermmmm the cake n suprise maybe.haha.kinda expected that.=P however i luv the sweater weii.sirius!to qied mai jels ain eter alis n ummi thanx for the superbly sdap nasik ayam,cards n gifts.hehe.choc cake frum clarinda n steph.tho its tesco's but the thot that matters.hehe.n k.nadiah bake me a cake n my name was on it.waaaa.flatterd~~~huhu.hizuan's intention to blanje me a dinner.conversation with nuyerq yg suprisingly hambar than b4 n najuk's call all the way frum msia.a bday card frum paqin,,she posted it all the way frum msia too.hehe.n my parents n family whu apparently wished me two days earlier,haha.*tlgla jgn lupe*..appreciate evrytg.reallyy.

n yeps thanx for the wishes guys.=) took a few pics.will upload em soonn=).

p/s- nathan scott..ure damn sweettt u know that???!!!ngaaaaa~~~~

nadia abu bakar

2009-01-19T18:14:00.001Z

my good fren back in school
especially when we were in f4 n f5
you were there whenever i was down
not to forget you were celebrating my success all the time
you lent me your shoulders to cry on
you gave me your warm hug whenever i need it badly
you gave me the big smile whenever i gave you good news
we laughed at each other
we made fun of each other

we were even closer when i was in taylors n you were in uitm
you were 1 hell of a gud shopping fren.
you were there a day before my flight
you talked to me,you spent the time left with me.

of laughter,joy,fun,surprises,love and happiness,
ill die not to have you as my close fren
you'll always be my best fren,durh..you know too much!!!=P

so bubaq,
keep in your mind that how very much u mean to me,more than you can know

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR!

may Allah bless you

2009...m old

2009-01-18T19:34:00.005Z

turning into 20-ish yrs old made me think that im soo not ready for that yet.dammit time really flies too fast.i feel like i was 16 yesterday.n tday m 17.wat the heck.

havent got anything to write but the urge to write is too strong to the extent that im crapping like,holly crap,m crap!haha.

my eating system has gone haywired.i skipped meals.i dun feel hungry when the fact is m starving.i lost my appetite.i always get stomachache.gosh.whats wrong with me.!

of being an emotional girl

2009-01-11T15:23:00.002Z

to care about me,to ask me how am i doing at least once in a month,to treat me at least like a fren,to at least type ''ooooo'' to the conversation i started,he is the las person i'd expect to do all that to me.a big BUT here,,u know i have feelings too.i care about others(in this case its you).as a matter of fact im a normal human being.no harm showing me some care.plis,can you just stop being ego for a second?im begging you.

its sux having this complication in my mind yknoe..

he wont read this.thats y m writing it here.i just have to spill it out before an explosion occurs n i found that blog might be the best place to release it.hehe.sorry my blog.=)

okay..just forget wtv crap i wrote up there..imagine i din write anything ok?.haha.dun ask me anythg plis.just giv me some words of comfort and perhaps advice on how to be strong,that is if u care.haha.your cooperation is higly appreciated.thank you.=)

p/s - biase laaa pompan...emosh je lebeyh..hehe.

untitled

2009-01-10T13:27:00.004Z

heyyy,,it has been a veryy long time since i last wrote here..i dun have any particular reason of my MIA for the past few weeks..*not that anyone cares if i do have any*..its just that i dun feel like blogging and this mr laziness is leading my life right now..we r gud frens now ryt, mr lazzines?hahaha.im not crazy,am i? i hate the fact that its the end of my holiday,n heyyy its welcome back to school fever.evryone hates it.ure not gonne bliv this,but yes somehow its gud to see my colleagues back after a month of hols.

well i just started watching desperate hsewives season 5 and gabby is sooo fat.omg.what happend to her!im gonna miss the fab-gorgeous-hot gabby..!n susan n mike shudnt be divorced. u both are great together,reallyy wei...uhuh.despite of the dissatsfactions i mentiond before,,its worth watching,i tell you.seriusly.hehe.btw,i just knew that meteor garden korean version has already been aired.hoho.cant wait to watch!hehe.

knw what,i act have alot of stuffs in my mind but i cant spill em out for unknown reasons.dun ask me cos i myself dunno y.ull think im complicated,think all you want but i know m not.heh.wtv.ignore this part.ok peeps.m gonna use these last 2 days of hols as max as possible.dun dare to spoil these moments okayy.

ZATI HALWANI MANSOR

2008-12-21T19:34:00.003Z

okay jati suprisinglyyyy i dun have any pic of just the two of us..how come eh???(or maybe i have but cudnt find it)anyways,this is a cropped 1.hehe.sowee.=)but i think u luk cute in this pic,duncha think so?.hahaha.=P

ok so typical bday wish entry,,happy bdayyy jati shbt dunie akhiratku.i luv you always n missing you soooww much..just remember 1 thing that ill always be by yur side wtv happens ogeh?hehe.TAKE CARE.i mean it.see you in junee=)

shbt dunie akhrt kaw: imeyks